Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Breakfast with the Hysterics


What a great morning to wake up and breathe that Boston air. Ahhhhhhh, that just feels great! Who cares if it's rainy, cold and dreary out, the Bruins beat the pants off the Canucks again last night! How could last night have gone more perfect? The pre-game show was basically NBC sucking the collective asshole of the Canucks, blabbing about them winning, and how great they were. They had the champagne ready, the Canucks were trying to sell the rights to the parade. But as soon as Rene Rancourt came out and sang a three fist pump version of the Star Spangled Banner, all decked up in his gold suit and matching bow tie, Bruins fans knew today wasn't going to be the day for Vancouver.

The Canucks came out strong, and at first I was like "Oh shit this game is going to end up going poorly", as they barraged Tim Thomas with a volley of shots, which of course he saved. Then around the fourteen minute mark, something clicked. And the Bruins unleashed hell on that slimy piece of crap Roberto Luongo. First Brad Marshmont scored, then thirty five seconds later Lucic knocked one an easy one in, then Ferrence, then Ryder. Within a span of four minutes the Bruins had knocked Luongo out of the game, and all but guaranteed a Game 7. Luongo has to be the biggest head case in the NHL, is there anyone else out there that unravels as quickly as he does? He came in and saw 8 shots, and only stopped 5 of them. Good job pal, now go back to making stupid backhanded comments about Timmy Thomas, that seems to be the only thing you are any good at.

Was there anything better than surfing over to NHL.com and looking at their live camera in Vancouver? It was like looking at thousands of people watching their dog being hit by a car, over and over again. Oh and if you headed to Twitter, the Boston haters were out in full force last night. I love them, I truly do, because it must be really difficult rooting for teams that are only in contention once a decade. I understand why you hate us, if all our teams were run by incompetent boobs, and filled with fans that never show up to the games, I'd hate Boston too. Jealousy is a bitch isn't it? But back to the game. The Bruins pretty much cruised on autopilot for the remainder of the game, with Tim Thomas doing the brunt of the work.

And can we talk about Tim Thomas now? Jesus, Mary and Joseph, he is awesome. I got a text message from our old friend GHABB,Y~! last night that read as follows: "Legit, is Tim Thomas putting in the best performance by a Boston-New England athlete in a championship game/series of our lifetime? Brady, Manny, Pierce, dare I say Bird were not this dominant."

So I ask you this, Boston fans: We have had some great moments, and great performers this past twenty-thirty years, but is Tim Thomas' Stanley Cup performance the best we have seen in a championship series?

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