Monday, June 6, 2011

Welcome to Boston, Green Men!


Hi friends from up north!

I just love how you dressed up in your skin tight suits and play mind games with opponents of your beloved Vancouver Cancusk. And then lookie you are on TV, looking so devilish, probably with no clue you copied that idea from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Because in Canada it's all moose and curling, and no one there uses a television other than to watch hockey and reruns of old BBC comedies. You do realize that right? That Charlie Day created that for an American TV show, like 3 years ago. But it's ok, your Canadian, you aren't expected to come up with your own schtick on your own. Thinking is hard stuff!

I'd like to know which one of you gentlemen had the brilliant idea of coming to Boston to "intimidate Tim Thomas". You probably have never been to Boston before have you? Boston fans are known to be loving, warm hearted, welcome the opponents and their fans with open arms type of people. And they NEVER EVER drink too much and pummel the shit out of opposing fans from Canada. Please, go out on Causeway street at 6:45 dressed like that, I bet the locals will love you! Hell I have a better idea, if for some unlucky reason the Canucks win again, take your lime body suit out in front of the garden and scream "BRUINS SUCK" over and over again. Boston fans will get the joke, I promise!

But what am I telling you this for? You already know about our town and the laissez-faire hockey fans from our most knowledgeable sports personalities Dennis & Callahan. Believe me, they know hockey better than anyone else in this town. They talk about it 24/7 365! They probably told you how safe our mundane our fans are. Maybe, and this is a great idea, you could make a pro-Canuck sign that reads " Burrows owns Boston" and run around the concourse waving it around in your little body suit! I'm sure you will meet plenty of bearded Bruins fans that will just love to introduce you to the fine city of Boston. And when they are done showing you around, they will take you to Boston's most historic landmark, the Tobin Bridge where they will greet you off back on a magical journey back to your home town of Vancouver. Have fun and welcome to Boston!

1 comment:

Burrows said...

Get me the fuck out of here.

Good post fellas