Monday, June 13, 2011

Lebron James: The No-Ring King

So if you haven't been able to tell, we here at Mass Hysteria are not huge fans of Lebron James. In fact, I would go as far as to say I hate him more than any other athlete on the planet. I love watching him fail, because he thinks he is entitled to win. I love watching him choke, because he thinks all he has to do is show up and he'll perform. And I love watching him whine, because after all of his arrogance and swagger and self-promotion, he knows that the only person he has to blame is himself. I've said it before and I'll say it again: not only do I dislike the player, I dislike the man, and I TRULY believe he is, deep down, a terrible person. Onward!

Most of the general public's disdain for James started with "The Decision", when it became apparent that Lebron thought he was so far and away above any other athlete on the planet that he needed to have his own hour-long special to announce where he would be "taking his talents". Again, his words. In the process, he proceeded to shit all over the city of Cleveland and their fans, and also break a ton of promises he made to them. What a guy. Then we moved on to the pre-season celebration with James, Wade, and Bosh. PRE-SEASON CELEBRATION. The fireworks, the dancing, the partying. Before they played a game together. I know this stuff has been beaten to death, but it shouldn't be forgotten. Then there's the "Not two, not three, not four, not five, not six..." quote from James as to how many Championships they would win. All we have to do is show up, guys! Don't worry about it! Nothing makes me happier than seeing a person lose who thinks they are so entitled to win anything and everything. And I'm not saying Lebron doesn't work hard - the guy is a physical freak and he's in tremendous shape. But clearly, with his 4th quarter performances (insert whatever lame Twitter joke is going around here), there is still a lot he needs to improve. As Dan Gilbert said: "Old Lesson for all: There are NO SHORTCUTS. NONE."

So how did Lebron respond after the game? Well in his post-game presser he said this:

"All the people that was rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today," James said. "They have the same personal problems they had today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that."

So I guess that's directed towards people like me. Cool. Except I don't really have any personal problems; seems like you have your fair share for the both of us. Oh also, I woke up this morning and had as many NBA Championships as you, too. So there's that. Then on Twitter, he said:

"The Greater Man upstairs know [sic] when it's my time. Right now isn't the time."

You heard it here first, folks. God hates the Heat too.

Yeah, I know James is only 26 and yeah he's probably going to win a Championship before he retires, but man, it seems like he has a lot of growing up to do, huh? Until then, enjoy your money and your cars are your lifestyle - and enjoy your current label as a perennial choker. I can't wait until next season.

And now, for some folks who can say it much better than I:

Mavs had best player, better finishers, better team (Gregg Doyel -

LeBron James' Marketing Might Never Recover (Darren Rovell -

A season without acquittal for LeBron (Brian Windhorst - ESPN)

A Boring Conundrum: LeBron's Exquisite Corpse (Jay Caspian Kang -


Anonymous said...

You Need a Ring to be a King!!!

Anonymous said...

He was a King before, and he sure is now. SUCK A DICK. Mad ass niggas! KING JAMES