Monday, June 6, 2011

Breakfast with the Hysterics


Good morning, all. Hope you had an enjoyable weekend despite the Bruins. As BCHysteria already pointed out, the B's have their backs against the wall, but those smelly Canadians step into our house tonight, and it's going to be a whole new ballgame. Or puck-game? Whatever. I like the Bruins chances at home, but they're still going to have to play better, score better, and whatever the hell they did that allowed them to score on the power play on Saturday, do that shit again. Please.

Also, Alex Burrows can eat a big fat dick, but I'm sure he'd bite down on it. There's an EABOD in your future coming if you score again, you piece of shit. Count on it.

In other non-Bruins news, the Red Sox swept the hapless A's this weekend, but it wasn't exactly without a flare for the dramatic. I was in attendance at the game on Saturday, and let me tell you, it was nuts. First of all, with the start time of the game changing, we were able to parlay our seats from standing room into 30-or-so rows behind home plate, which was awesome not only because siting behind home plate kicks ass, but because we had an excellent view of Papelbon's tantrum. It was hard to tell from my vantage point if some of the questionable calls were strikes, but after reviewing some pics (courtesy of the Providence Journal), I gotta say Pap was getting squeezed:


That's a strike, you dipshit.

I also loovveee that after all the ejection aftermath was over, people were like "I expect that kind of stuff from Papelbon, but not from Varitek." Really? Papelbon has never been ejected from a baseball game. Ever. In his life. Varitek punched a man in the face in a game 7 years ago. So, yeah. Not calling either of them out; I thought it was awesome that they both got run. But stop painting Paps as some sort of hot-head asshole. His emotions run high, but he, up until Saturday, has always kept things in check.

And yesterday John Lackey (JOHN LACKEY!!!!) helped the Sox finish off the sweep with a strong outing coming off the DL. Oh, and J.D. Drew got the walk-off hit on Saturday! We foul-mouthed bloggers are running out of people to call out here (not like anyone would even bat an eye if we called out the universally [and insubstantially] hated J.D. Drew)! So I gotta throw it to you, Hysterics and Sox fans alike: Who on this team is not performing to your expectations at this point? Since whomever we throw under the bus seems to turn it around, who should be our next target? A simple blog post should fix 'em.

1 comment:

ballamiguel said...

"Also, Alex Burrows can eat a big fat dick, but I'm sure he'd bite down on it. There's an EABOD in your future coming if you score again, you piece of shit. Count on it."

I'm holding you to that. Although I may get fired as I bask in its hilarity.