Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Breakfast with the Hysterics

Fantastic artwork by the guys over at Days of Y'orr


Good morning again folks, thanks for coming back and making Mass Hysteria the #45234 blog in all of Boston!!!! Last night was another busy night in sports, as both the Bruins and Red Sox were in action. If you were like me, you set your Tivo up, made it sure it recorded the premiere of the Bachelorette, and watched some good ole sports. (Grunts, smashes head into wall, chugs a beer).

Easily the most important game of the night was Game 5 between the Bruins and the "Team from Florida that has a shitty fan base." Things started off very poorly for the Bruins, as the TFFTHASFB scored quickly and were attacking Tim Thomas seemingly non stop. But after the first intermission, things changed. The Bruins started to assert themselves physically over TB (basically holding them over a sink and having their way with them), and scored to tie the game up. It wasn't long after that Brad "Marshmount", knocked in the go ahead goal, and Tim Thomas did what he does best. WIN BABY. I can only imagine the level of dialogue going on in TB right now "THAT DARN GAME PISSED ME OFF MORE THAN THE TIME I CAUGHT MY COUSIN SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER!...IT WAS MY TURN!" Go to hell Tampa Bay.

The Red Sox on the other hand have started a new disturbing trend...blowing games in the later innings. Last night, Carl Crawford did everything human to win the game for the Sox, but his HR and 2-4 night wasn't enough. Daniel Bard is continuing his "Ok, maybe we should seriously consider re-signing Papelbon" tour, by not only choking away a lead, but letting Cleveland take the lead. Honestly, if you thought Cleveland was going to be so good this year, maybe you should be betting on horses, because looking at that lineup you can't help but think "How the hell are they winning?" Austin Kearns? Orlando Cabrera? HOW THE FUCK IS ASSDRIBBLE CABRERA DOING SO WELL? I don't know, that game left me scared and confused.

Well have a great day folks, the Sun is finally coming out, so get out of your homes, dwellings and offices and enjoy the damn weather!

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