Monday, May 16, 2011

Breakfast with the Hysterics


THE RED SOX ARE .500! THE RED SOX ARE .500!

File that one under "Things you didn't think you'd be celebrating on May fucking 16th".

But yes, our long national nightmare is over. After a beatdown of the Yankees in the Bronx over the weekend, the Red Sox are finally NOT under .500! Now that they have that monkey off their back, things are sure to turn around real quick! Hell, even Salalamacchia went deep last night! In all seriousness, they're heading back to Fenway, and with the Yanks playing the Rays, the Sox are sure to gain ground on someone if they can win. This could be the nice little stretch that gets them back near the top of this division, with plenty of baseball left to boot. And plus with a nice two game series against the lowly Orioles and... what's that? Daisuke and Lackey are starting the two games?!?!?!! ....

THEY'VE PEAKED! THIS IS THE BEST THEY CAN HOPE FOR! ENJOY .500 WHILE IT LASTS, FOLKS!

In other not-so-fun news, the Bruins has a shit minute-and-a-half stretch in Game 1 and it was all the Lightning needed to take the first game of the series. A few things to feel confident about though: one is Tim Thomas is not going to have many stretches like that (it was not all his fault, but still). The second is Seguin, who at the very least should be used on the power play. I'm not blowing my playoff load over him just yet - it was one game. Bear in mind he had a fairly pedestrian regular season, he's like 13 years old, and there was a reason he was scratched from the first two series. Let's not put him on the first line and anoint him captain just yet. But for fuck's sake, can the B's get any worse on the power play? Might as well try out Seguin - nothing else is working. The third glimmer of hope is: Bergeron looks to be very close to coming back! That is all kinds of awesome. But you know what isn't all kinds of awesome. Anything Tomas Kaberle has ever done ever. Sorry, I'm bitter.

Oh, and speaking of bitter, the Heat lost. So that's awesome and stuff.

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