Monday, May 9, 2011

Breakfast with the Hysterics

Welcome back to the mad mad world of Mass Hysteria folks, hope you all had a relaxing alcohol/drug/hooker fueled weekend. It was quite possibly the most excellent weekend in Boston sports since, well, two weeks ago, but whatever it still kicked ass. The Bruins knocked the Flyers out, the Celtics won on the gimpy arm of Rajon Rondo, and the Sox won 2 out 3, which at this point is about all you can ask for. Let's break it down shall we?


After the Heat were already moved on to the next round by basically most fans, casual observers, and the entire media, the Celtics fired back. Not only did the Celtics do it with Rajon Rondo's one good arm, but they did it in pretty convincing fashion as well. As I've mentioned before on my twitter page, I hate the Heat. I can't stand looking at Chris Bosh's ugly face, and LeBrick's knack for choking never goes unnoticed by me, so winning this series is high on my priorities list. Shaq showed up...I guess. The large UFO played 8 minutes of anonymous basketball, and was the force at center that everyone hoped for. God I miss Perk. The MVP of the game? Kevin Garnett. I understand the rest of the world hates KG, and he has a tendency to play very dirty & plays the role of the leagues greatest heel since Bill Laimbeer, but he is fun to watch when he is on. Speaking of dirty basketball players, did you all see the end of the Lakers game? My god that team unraveled in the span of one game. How a team handles a loss shows the character of a team, not how they win, and if that is true the Lakers are a team full of hooligans. Andrew Bynum's elbow at the end of the game was probably the most classless play of the playoffs. I know a lot of people are sending well wishes to Phil Jackson, and believe me he deserves much of it, but stop the best coach of all time bullshit. Jackson walked onto a Laker team with easily the two best players of their generation on the same team, and a Bulls team with arguably the best player of all time. It wasn't like he had to take a team of underachievers and make them better, he always had koosh situations set up for him. And his lack of control over his team in the final minutes of that Mavericks game was an embarrassment.


Flyers lose. Flyers lose. Flyers lose. Tim Thomas had another great game between the pipes and Milan Lucic finally decided to show up to the playoffs scoring 2 goals. Was there anything more fun to watch than the shalacking the Bruins put on the Flyers in the 3rd period? As Smartybarrett said at the bar we were watching the game "The roof of the TDGarden is going to come off!", and it almost did. Now onto the Lightning, probably the team that matches up best with the Bruins. (This is not my insight, my dad who loves hockey told me that, remember I'm a pink hat, and I learn a teams players while they are on the ice. Honestly I couldn't name anyone on Tampa Bay right now). I am totally on the Bruins bandwagon. Watch out folks!

Red Sox

Can we please stop talking about how much we love Tim Wakefield? Seriously, he hasn't been a good pitcher in like 5 years, yet the legions of pink hats treat him like he's Pedro Martinez. I get it, he's a nice guy, been on the team for years, done what the team has asked, but when he enters the game, any game at this point, just chalk up a L because that's about all he is good for. Sorry. Exhibit A: Friday's game. The game was over before the Red Sox could even get an at bat. Luckily the Red Sox turned it around on Saturday (great pitching by Clay and Co.), and Sunday (the Adrian Gonzalez power show). Sunday's game was particularly satisfying because we got to see Good Dice and Evil Dice show up in the span of one game. Our favorite enigma threw 35 pitches in the 1st inning alone, allowing 3 runs, then somehow pitched 5 more innings only allowing 1 run. I don't get all, but Dice now has 3 (!!!!!) wins this season. For all the naysayers and doomsdayers, the Red SUX are only 4 games out of 1st place. Take a deep breath and think, there are still 120 games left, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. And if you need more reason to get excited, look at some of our hitters, who started off slow. Carl Crawford? 7 game hitting streak, and hitting the ball much harder. Jacoby Ellsbury? 16 games hitting streak. Jason Varitek....well that's a different story. Tonight Beckett takes the mound against the NOT FRANSICO LIRIANOS. Has you ever been more happy to see someone catch the flu? Get well soon Liriano, but thanks for giving this lineup a break.

What was your highlight of the weekend? Hit up the comments!

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