Saturday, May 14, 2011

Beating the Yankees Always Feels Good

(brilliant photoshop courtesy of NoMaas, side note is a fantastic Yankees blog)

Last night had all the makings of a Yankees win. It was an away game, the Red Sox have been struggling mightily, and when they couldn't expand the lead past 2-0 we all had the feeling the Yanks were going to get back into it. And NY did, with one swing of the bat from "The catcher Theo didn't really push all that hard for because he was happy with Tek and Salty, I want to punch myself in the dick as I write this". But the Sox didn't give up with big home runs by Kevin Youkilis and Adrian Gonzalez and only a small implosion by the bullpen and the Red Sox walk away with another win against our rivals in New York.

Complete side note: Can we all just agree now that Adrian Gonzalez is 1) Fucking awesome and 2) a far better investment than Adrian Beltre. 3) Easily is going to contend for multiple MVP's during his time with the Red Sox.

The reason I wanted to write this post on a Saturday morning is due to the curious case of Bartolo Colon. At the beginning of this season I was laughing my ass off at the Yankees rotation. Freddy Garcia? Bartolo Colon? HEHEHEHEHE. I was at a bar last night (surprise) watching the game, my Dad and I were stunned at his radar gun reading....97, 98, 96. Back in 2008 Colon pitched for the Red Sox, he was topping out at 87-88. Even with the juiced up gun at the Stadium (there was no way Buchholz was hitting 98 either), I find it hard to swallow that a 37 year old, horribly out of shape pitcher just mysteriously found his fastball again. Look at some other pitchers as they aged, Pedro Martinez had to change his repertoire to adjust to his declining fastball, and even weightier pitchers like Schilling had to rely more on location and off speed pitches to get batters out as they aged. Fastballs usually don't just return to pitchers, especially for someone like Colon. How the fuck did Colon regain almost 10mph, all the while MISSING ALL OF LAST SEASON?


The magical mysterious returning fastball will remain a curious question all season; could it be PEDs? Possibly, news reports have said that Colon's Dr. injected fetus stem cells into other patients shoulders during this procedure, which he laced with HGH. (though in this case the Dr. "claims" he didn't use HGH in Colon's surgery) Whatever it is that Colon is doing, it safe to say that his performances so far haven't been flukes, and if he can stay in shape (BIG IF), he could be a solid contributor to the Yankees. But this conjures up more questions. If stem cells can help that tub of goo throw 98mph again, what else might it be able to do? Maybe if we inject it in Jason Varitek's arm he will be able to throw a base runner out again. That would be neat. Maybe if we inject some cells in Sarah Palin's head she might be able to put together a cogent thought if for the first time in her life. Might stem cells injected in Rondo's elbow have helped him not dribble and pass like an invalid for two games? Interesting questions that may never be answered.

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