Monday, May 2, 2011

5 Things About this Weekend That Pissed Me Off

1. These three assholes. After the "Decision", the "whatever the hell this press conference thing was", and the subsequent ESPN hype machine that hasn't stopped, I couldn't stand the Big 3. And fuck you for trying to co-op this name. LeBrick, and that tall lesbian haired giraffe made me hate a team more than I have ever hated another team before. Lakers included. Nothing made me happier than the C's embarrassing the Heat during the regular season. So Lebron this series is personal? Why is that? Because you mailed it in during the playoffs last year? Whatever take Game 1, you'll blow it.

2. NBA refs. God if you want the Heat to win just tell the Celtics ahead of time so we don't have to fucking watch these games. That second technical against Pierce was complete bullshit to everyone that isn't from the MIA-YAYO. I don't care if the Celtics are winning, the NBA refs are the worst in all of sports. They completely change the game, and their bias towards home teams is sickening.

3. The entire NFL. Really, was Mark Herzlich's tryouts that bad that no one would take a chance on him? I need therapy to get past all this. I hope he joins some shit hole team like the Rams and brings them to the Super Bowl.

4. The Red Sox Lineup- I am not going to give up on this season yet, but seriously, what the fuck? Carl Crawford has a lower batting average than Ryan Langerhans. Kevin Youkilis is hitting like shit, and Jason Varitek....if that old mutha fucker gets another at bat I'm going to scream. He is like 2-60, strikes out at a Rob Deer rate, and can't throw a baseball to second base. I'm not ready to panic on this team yet, but seriously how many games is Adrian Gonzalez going to be stuck on 1 homerun?

5. Bobby Jenks. Ozzie Guillen 1 Bobby Jenks 0. Maybe there was a reason that large whale of a man was released. Um yeah, hi, throw some god damn strikes, Scott Atchison looks like a more attractive option that douche with the Guy Fieri's hair on his chin. THROW THE FUCKING BASEBALL IN THE STRIKEZONE.

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