Friday, April 29, 2011

Breakfast with the Hysterics

Good morning losers, hope your all enjoying this non descript, un special day of the week. Is everybody looking forward to the weekend? Weekend? I know I am as I sit at home, watching the Mel Kiper robot drone on and on about "CAM NEWTON IS A SPECIAL PLAYER" & "BOWERS IS AN INJURY RISK, BOWERS IS AN INJURY RISK" , but first gotta get my bowl, and eat my cereal. Last night we had the annual NFL players draft, which awoke Chris Berman from his slumber to create obnoxious catch phrases such as "The night before the royal wedding, the Giants pick a Prince". Dar Dar dar, you're so fucking witty Berman! Does ESPN honestly think people still relate to him or find him entertaining? Wait they are the same company that still employs Cris Carter, John Kruk and Tony Kornheiser....that answers my question.

The Patriots didn't surprise really anyone with their strategy as they did what they needed to do: address a need at OL and trade the other first round pick for two more picks. Nate Solder, a monster offensive lineman from Colorado is going to join the Patriots O line that in all likelihood is going to lose Logan Mankins, Matt Light and Nick Kaczur. Solder is a straight up beast, possibly the best OL prospect in the draft, so I was very happy with the pick. Though it kind of hurt my heart to see the Pats pass on my boy Anthony Castonzo, and then watch AC fall to the Colts. But all in all it wasn't a bad first round; Belichick didn't take a pick and draft a position of no need, so most observers were happy. Other people, people who never watch college football games but get incensed when the one player they have heard isn't drafted (MARK INGRAM COUGH), however had differing views:

My boy John Dennis tweeted the following:

Who ? Both Kiper and Gruden had critical evaluations of Solder, for what that's worth

Of course Dennis, because Jon Gruden is a fantastic evaluator of talent. "THIS GUY MISSED A BLOCK ON THAT GUY. LOOK AT THIS GUY'S FOOT WORK!" And Mel Kiper and that haircut shit on the Pats last year for drafting McCourty, so that should ruin whatever credibility that "expert" has. Dennis then went on to argue with some Pats fans and left it at that. On a side note, John Dennis you're a coward, you rip on me and Boston College absolutely unprovoked on Twitter, then when I respond you block me. Just like every loud mouth on the #2 sports radio station in Boston, you can't handle criticism. I can't wait until T&R nail your coffin closed and you move on to some other market that enjoys quasi racism, Ann Coulter verbal cunnilingus, and those Tea Party Lunatics.

On another note, if Bill Belichick doesn't address the Patriots horseshit pass rush with at least two picks today, I'm going to punt my dog through my television.

On to other news, the Red Sox won again. HURRAY. I missed the entire game because of the draft, but it appears that Adrian Gonzalez is good at baseball. Maybe the Red Sox should offer him a large contract for his services. Even if he only has one home run so far on the season. THE GREATEST TEAM NEVER!!!!!! returns home this weekend for a series with the Mariners. After losing two out of three to the Orioles, seeing the Mariners on the schedule will soothe whatever ails them. Tonight, the new transformed Dice K Matzu-I DESTROY ALL NON BELIEVERS IN MY PATH-aka takes the hill against Jason Vargas.

Any thoughts on the draft or last nights game? Leave it in the comments.

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