Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Breakfast with the Hysterics


I assume most of you, like me, are hunched over this morning from the nut-punch we all received last night as we flipped back and forth between the Bruins and Sox. Frankly, that's why this post is going up so late. Try Lunch with the Hysterics. Or better yet, Liquid Lunch with the Hysterics. Yes, that's the ticket.

First the Sox, because we'll move in order from least shitty to most shitty. Any nerd (me) would have told you that Clay Buchholz was in for a bit of a regression this season. But also, these nerds (me) didn't think it was going to suck this much. I mean, he didn't pitch all that bad last night, but fuck man, even Daisuke and Lackey are kicking ass at this point. Fall in! To be fair, it's hard to win a game when you only score one run. But on the bright side, Jason Varitek got a hit, raising his slugging percentage to a jaw-dropping 0.133. Someone test this man's piss!

And keeping with the theme, the Bruins also lost. In shit-tastic fashion, might I add, with equal parts shit, poop, and crap officiating. GOD, THE FUCKING OFFICIATING. I'm not usually one to bitch stuff like this, but one can only think that much like Norm McDonald, the maple tree, and the band Rush, those zebras had a pro-Canada bias last night. Fuckers. Still, this ain't over, and I'm sure not down on the B's just yet, because I really truly think they're better than Montreal. And we all knew this was going to go the disatance anyway. Plus, I'd rather the B's win it in their house. It's their time.

Game 7 tonight. Let's fuck 'em up.

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