Monday, April 25, 2011

Alternate Titles to Derek Jeter's Book


So this morning news broke that Captain Clutch (no, not Captain StrikeoutMachine, he's a different entity) was penning a book. Yawn. Jeter has never been forthcoming about anything, so I imagine this book will be about as interesting as the autobiography of a 45-year-old knuckleballer with the personality of a brick wall. "The Captain" has to be the most clich├ęd name of a book since "Curse Reversed", so we at Mass Hysteria worked on some alternate names for Jeter's book:

* .601: My 2011 OPS

* Herpes, A Journey

* Two Feet To My Left, Two Feet To My Right: The Daunting Challenges Of Fielding

* Batting Leadoff: Derek Jeter, A Horror Story

* My Life And Times Banging Girls That Are Out Of Your League

* 3 Years And 51 Million Dollars For A 36-Year-Old Shortshop: A Comedy

* The Great Gold Glove Heist Of 2009... followed by
The Great Gold Glove Heist Of 2010... (with special spoiler to 2011 sequel)

* Declining Skill Sets: A Retrospective


Yours in the comments.

2 comments:

jennycupcakes said...

The every guys guide to getting Cameron Diaz to feed you popcorn in public.

jennycupcakes said...

That should have ended with this: - title of the guest chapter by arod in the Mentoring section. Stupid phone posting when I'm not done and going underground.