Monday, July 19, 2010

Ye Olde Celticks

So word has come out that the Celtics are interested in Tracy McGrady. You may remember McGrady as the guy who quit on the Rockets a few years back. We are investigating the rumor that he is the same person known as "T-Mac" who led the league in scoring for the Magic a few years back, though this reporter sees no correlation. Oh, and there's also rumors that we may sign Shaquille O'Neal, who has now left FIVE teams on bad terms, and is responsible for this:

Imagine if the Celtics sign McGrady and Shaq. That would give the C's FIVE players over the age of 33 (how old Jesus was when he died) when the season starts, all of whom with significant tread on their tires. Thankfully, the marketing geniuses at Mass Hysteria have come up with some slogans for the 2010-2011 Celtics, should they sign McGrady and O'Neal:

The Boston Celtics: The best 2001 team of 2010

It's Hard to Earn Tommy Points Running Like George Jefferson

Think Green (or Jaundiced Yellow)

Team of the Millenium. Last Millenium.

The C's: Almost as cool as AOL


Ramblin' Rajon and the Old Tyme Band

Hey Miami, Get Off Our Goddamned Lawn

Boston Celtics: Functioning Knees Not Necessary

Not Your Father's Celtics. Your Grandfather's Celtics.

Danny Glover Presents the Boston Celtics: We're Getting Too Old for this Shit

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