Tuesday, April 6, 2010

R.I.P. Kyle Singler


Lost in the shuffle of last night's National Championship game was the unfortunate end to Kyle Singler in a death-by-pick tragedy. Singler was rushing up court when he slammed into Matt "Hair Lip" Howard and was killed instantly. Coroners have determined the cause of death to be a combination of albinism, hemophilia, allergies to sunlight, and getting LAID THE FUCK OUT. The above photo shows Singler's last moments alive. The Duke medical staff asked the doctors not to rule out the fact that Duke players are constantly told to go down when there is even the slightest bit of contact, but when they saw him leaving the court in a body bag, they became concerned. A bit of good news, however: Singler's family has not ruled out allowing his corpse to star in the next Twilight movie.

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