Saturday, December 5, 2009

Sports Orgy Saturday: Marathon Liveblog


Today is the type of day that makes you grateful to be a sports fan. In chronological order, the following sporting events are happening today on television:

Cincinnati/Pitt football for a BCS berth
North Carolina/Kentucky basketball
Boise State/New Mexico football for a possible BCS berth for Boise
Florida/Alabama in the MOST IMPORTANT FOOTBALL GAME EVER
Texas/Nebraska for a National Championship berth for UT
Georgia Tech/Clemson for a BCS berth
UFC Ultimate Fighter finals with Kimbo Slice's first UFC live fight


So, um, yeah. Not leaving the couch for about 12 hours.

12:45: John Wall has scored all six of Kentucky's points so far, all in reeecoculous fashion. Every time he's touched the ball something exciting has happened. His athleticism and speed is off the fucking charts. You can see Carolina guys already shitting their pants every time Wall handles the ball at the top of the key, like Alec Baldwin's daughter after she sees a voicemail from her dad on her cellphone.

1:05: That. Fucker. Is. Fast. Wall is making Rondo look like Scalabrine. Also, his name is catchy, like a rapper or a porn star. I hope he refers to himself by his full name in the third person. "John Wall would like a hamburger." "John Wall disagrees with you." "Who wants to sex John Wall?" (answer: everyone)

1:10: Meanwhile Pitt has scored on all three possessions. It's like Cincy coach Brian Kelly is preoccupied or something...

1:15: UNC took a 9-2 lead to start the game. Then Kentucky went on a 28-2 rape rampage of death, pretty much entirely spurred by John Wall going apeshit. I have a new point guard mancrush.

1:30: Pitt just went up 31-10 on Cincy and it's not even halftime. The main reason they're kicking ass, other than Brian Kelly's green-colored daydreams: They can run the ball, and Cincy can't. With it pouring buckets at Heinz, this is essential. Dion Lewis (Pitt's uber-talented freshman RB) is really fucking good, and even the mere threat of him running the ball not only makes the running game better, but gets Cincy to back off the pass. Pitt is 7-8 passing, and Lewis has 26 carries. These two facts are related. Cincy meanwhile is not much of a threat to run, which forces them into bad passes. Pike is 7-19 with a pick.

2:03: Lunch break done, accompanied by Friend of Mass Hysteria Liz. I'm gonna miss Giovanni's food when I move to Chattanooga at the end of the month. In the meantime, Carolina has come back like whoa, led by their frontcourt. This is what happens when you have two primarily freshman-sophomore teams with insanely talented but inexperienced players - they both get streaky as a motherfucker.

2:27: UNC/UK is now a three-point game with almost four minutes left. It's been less of Carolina playing well and more Kentucky playing like shit. Wall, for all his talent, has eight turnovers.

2:51: Kentucky wins, but Calipari notes in his postgame interview that "my team isn't that good right now" and that "freshmen do dumb things." And it showed in this game - UK was crazy talented, but prone to foul trouble, turnovers and other assorted dumb shit. This was evident with Wall, but especially evident with fellow freshmen Eric Bledsoe and DeMarcus Cousins. This team *can* be crazy good, but they have a long way to go.


2:55: Pitt is winning, but Mardy Gilyard is one insane kick returner/receiver. He just had a 48-yard kick return after returning one for a TD earlier in the game. He's dragged Cincy back to a 38-30 game. For Pitt, Dion Lewis had 38 carries for 160 yards and the fourth quarter just started. He might touch the ball 55 times when it's all said and done.

3:14: Aaaand Cincy just came back to tie the score. BALLS OF STEEL. Awesome fucking comeback. If the rest of Sports Orgy Saturday ends up like these last two games, I'm going to have a coronary by dinnertime.

3:26: Dion Lewis just scored to put Pitt ahead with a little less than two minutes left, but Pitt botched the extra point. It was Lewis' 47th carry on the day. He is only 19 years old. Meanwhile, Mardy Gilyard has 374 all-purpose yards. Draft this man.

3:31: TOUCHDOWN CINCY. Holy fucking shit. They make the extra point and now they're up by 45-44 with one second left. They were down 31-10 at one point and now they're going to win the game. INSANE game.


3:40: Cincy wins by one. Kentucky wins by two. Let's hope the next game isn't nearly as close.

6 comments:

HZMLS said...

most live blog ever? most live blog ever.

HZMLS said...

Annnnd Pitt just blocked a punt and has the ball at the 5. They are TAKING IT to Cincy

HZMLS said...

Can Marty Gilyard be my Wide Receiver man crush?

HZMLS said...

Looks like Cincy decided to show up and play

HZMLS said...

Question for GHABBY: What are your thoughts on Lane's comment on the SEC Championship?

GHABB,Y~! said...

Kiffykins is not a person. He's an animated kitten. So whatever he says isn't important, especially since 12-0 > 7-5.