Wednesday, December 16, 2009

But does he have dreamy eyes?

So John Lackey and Mike Cameron are the answers the Red Sox are looking towards after bombing in the playoffs in 2009. A new emphasis of defense and pitching will hopefully overshadow a batting lineup that will be without Jason Bay next year (which honestly I am fine with; he is NOT worth the money he is demanding). But do you honestly, really think that Theo is done? What are we going to do with this glut of OFs, and especially Cameron who is a fantastic center fielder (even at 37)? The answer? Theo isn't done. Ohhhhh please, he can talk defense til his face turns red, but as we speak you know he is out there fixing that gaping hole in the middle of the lineup and give the Red Sox that cleanup hitter that will make shit run down a pitcher's leg. Of course I am talking about Adrian Gonzalez.

A source close to NESN says that the Red Sox now have the flexibility to trade both prospects and major league ready talent to the Padres in return for Gonzo. The names thrown about are Max Ramirez (pending Lowell trade), Clay Buchholz and Jacoby Ellsbury. Ellsbury! Oh my goodness the pink hats are going to want Theo's head! God forbid we trade our starting CF with his .300 OBP and terrible defense. I love Boston with all my heart but my god Red Sox fans ADRIAN GONZALEZ IS FUCKING BETTER THAN JACOBY ELLSBURY. Let's look at the fans' reaction on and (all comments are [sic]):

"Keep Ellsbury trade Drew Ells is a very promising young athelete KEEP HIM"

Yeah trading a player that is far better than Ellsbury makes total sense. God I hate the irrational Drew hating in this town. Ok he looks bored, and doesn't show much emotion, but guess what? HE IS BETTER THAN ELLBSURY IS EVERY ASPECT OF BASEBALL THAT DOESN"T INVOLVING stealing bases!

"please don't trade ellsbury... he's the only player on the team with any speed whatsoever, and our only hope at actually scoring runs off of all the singles and doubles this lineup will be hitting. all the other baserunners will need 2-3 hits just to score, instead of the 1 ellsbury needs."

/slams head on desk
Yeah god forbid the Red Sox clog up the base paths.

"The Angels traded Casey Kotchman and a mediocre pitching prospect for Mark Teixeia. Why can't we trade Casey Kotchman and someone like Dustin Richardson for Gonzo?

In all seriousness, it would be giving up a bit too much if it was Ellsbury and Buchholz for Gonzo, but I think I could live with trading one of those guys. Since there are concerns over re-signing Beckett, why not flip Beckett for prospects to someone like Anaheim or Texas and then make a trade with the Padres for Gonzo (a la the Halladay/Cliff Lee trade)?"


"We could package Hermida, Lowrie and Buchholz for Adrian"

Words can't describe how stupid this is. Why don't we just package up Brian Anderson and Rocco Baldelli as well. Wait Rocco isn't under team control any more? WHO CARES!!! The Padres should do whatever we want! Please remember dolts, that Jed Hoyer is the GM of the Padres. I understand you probably don't know anyone in the front office not named Theo, but Hoyer was the assistant GM of the Red Sox last year, so its safe to say he knows the Red Sox farm system and isn't going to want Casey Kotchman for one of the best players in the league. Oh and while we are it, the Sox should trade our ace away in the process, just so we can keep a shitty light hitting center fielder.

"Trading Ellsbury just creates another hole that needs to be filled. It doesn't make sense"

I believe that "hole" was filled by someone at 1130am today. And oh by the way he is better than Ellsbury in every statistic other than steals, and if you disagree with me look it up. Ellsbury doesn't hit for power, he can't field, he throws like my mom and he doesn't walk enough. Oh and one other thought. Ellsbury is the worst fielding center fielder in the American League. LOOK!!!!!! Plus who the fuck needs steals if you are getting knocked in with home runs every game?

"Trading Ellsbury would be foolish. It doesn't make any sense to trade away a leadoff man who scored 94 runs last year for a middle line up guy who drove in 99 as a way of boosting your offense"

OK 1. Runs is almost a completely arbitrary stat. If you put Coco Crisp in the 1 slot with Youkilis Pedroia and Martinez hitting behind him he will get a 100 runs (pending he stays healthy). 2. Do you realize who hit in AGonz's lineup? Please name ANYBODY that is any good? How the hell is he supposed to get RBI's when he has NO ONE IN HIS LINEUP and he hits in one of the biggest pitchers park in the NL. Seriously who else was in the Padres lineup last year that was any good? Brian Giles?

Keep Lowell!!!! Ellsbury is our present and future. He's a game changer on the basepaths. Why would you get rid of a future gold glover and leader in steals while he is so young still. His bad needs to come around though and seems to like and take his helmet off. You aint that pretty Ellsbury but a good player.

You know sometimes I understand where all those blogs that trash Red Sox fans are coming from. People like you sound fucking retarded and it makes it hard for me to admit being from Boston. Listen to me closely pink hats, Adrian Gonzalez is a superior player to Jacoby Ellsbury. Guys like Adrian Gonzalez only come around once in a blue moon, he is better than Jason Bay AND Matt Holiday. Speed is overrated, you can get a million guys that run really fast, and do basically nothing else. In fact the only difference between Ellsbury and Joey Gathright is about .039 points OBP . If Ellsbury is the key to bring in one of the top power hitters in baseball, Theo better pull that trigger.


SmartyBarrett said...

and our only hope at actually scoring runs off of all the singles and doubles this lineup will be hitting

No... NO! Not hitting!! NOT HITTING!!!!

Cornelius Hardenbergh said...

Good post. Could have used less italics on the bold sections, but good post.

ballamiguel said...

"...and give the Red Sox that cleanup hitter that will make shit run down a pitcher's leg."

(See Pippig, Uta.)