Sunday, November 8, 2009

HZMLS does not like Joey Porter at all




Oh would you lookie here, Joey Porter is running his mouth again before the Patriot's game. Oh he remembers our past, thinks we are cheaters, and that Brady gets preferential treatment. Oh waaaaahhhhhhhhh Porter. I think in terms of football players, Porter has to be in my Top 5 of most abhorred, "I hope Dan Koppen piledrives his skull into the ground" players. Every year its the same stupid tired act, that fucking drooling douchebag runs his mouth, and except for the "Wild Cat" game last year, Porter is always wrong. Go ahead, do your little shovel dance, because last time I checked Chad Henne is your quarterback. CHAD HENNE. It's pretty sad that your running back, Ronnie Brown, has a better arm than that loser. The Dolphins were a fluke last year, running that gimmick offense that obviously has run its course, and this year has been exposed. Look Miami, you are two Ted Ginn Jr kickoff returns for TDs away from being in the basement of the East with the Football Abortions the Bills. Let's compare the teams:

Quarterback: Tom Brady vs Chad Henne. HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA
Edge: Patriots

Runnings Backs: Ok this may be the one area the Dolphins have the edge with Captain Chronic and Ronnie Brown. Miami, I will give you this one. Random question, Fred Taylor isn't on the IR yet, which means at some point during this year we won't be forced to watch Lawrence Maroney stutter step in place.
Edge: Dolphins

Wide Receivers: Who the fuck do the Fins even have? Devone Bess? Their leading receiver is Ted Ginn Jr., who has 200 yards. FOR THE SEASON.
Edge: Patriots

Defense: Well that other shitstain Channing Crowder is out, and Jason Ferguson is out, which leaves the Dolphins with twinkle toes Jason Taylor and motormouth. The Fins defense has allowed 177 points to the Patriots 98 for the season. Plus Brandon Meriweather is a MEAST.
Edge: Patriots

See what I mean? The Patriots are a far superior team, I am not worried, Belichick and Co are going to be ready for this week. The Fins can line up Ronnie Brown whereever they like, because gimmick plays are no match for Tom Fucking Brady. The AFC East is going back to the Patriots this year, starting today with a trouncing of Miami.

Nice balloons, pal.

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