Monday, October 5, 2009

Ooooh Your Tears Sustain Me

"Without totally going off the wall here, it is embarrassing to the game," linebacker Ray Lewis said.

"Terrible," Ed Reed told reporters. "Nothing to take away from anybody else's job, but at some point, we have to be better about that. This game has evolved too much not to be precise when there is a spot, when there is a penalty, when anything is going on on this field. We're too smart as human beings.

Yup this is what happens when the Baltimore Ravens lose a football game. They bitch and moan like a 16 year old girl whose father won't let her borrow the Jetta to go to the houseparty on the other side of town. In case you didn't hear the previously UNDEFEATED Ravens lost to the Patriots yesterday 27-21, and could have won if Mark Clayton's hands weren't dipped in cement. But instead of tarring and feathering their crappy wide receiving corp (other than Derrek Mason), the Ravens are going the easy route, pissing and moaning about the refs. But then again this is Baltimore we are talking about here, they probably take their football pretty seriously since they have nothing else down there including: respectable baseball teams, women, and jobs.

Hey guess what? YOU LOST. Your high flying offense of Joe Flacco and Todd Heap was no where near as good as everyone thought it was, and you only stayed in the game because Terrell Suggs mauled Brady for a defensive TD. That's what happens when your QB played for the University of Delaware. And those penalties that you are all whining and complaining about? You deserved every yard of them. Suggs went after Brady in a move that looked eerily reminiscent of Pollard's sack of Brady last year. But you say they shouldn't call that? ITS THE FUCKING RULES, IF ANY OF YOU CLOWNS COULD READ I WOULD TELL YOU TO PICK UP THE RULE BOOK AND GLANCE AT IT. BUT THAT WOULD BE LIKE ASKING A DEAF PERSON TO EXPLAIN THE TEMPO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SLAYER AND STYXX. And the Patriots would like to personally thank all the loud mouthed douchebags on the sidelines that had to mouth off so much that the refs actually penalized the bench prompting Phil Simms to say "I don't think I've ever seen that happen". John Harbaugh they say that leaders need to teach by example. If you are anything like your team, you must be like Kim Jong Il, completely devoid of rational thought and hated by the rest of the world. Only difference is that Il doesn't have an older brother that is infinitely more talented than he is. Great job assrag. To the entire Ravens team, the rest of the league enjoys all of the fines that you will inevitably accrue from your crying after the game. Jerry Jones plans on adding a new gold encrusted toilet seat in his luxury box with your money, and Al Davis is going to extend his life by another 1200 years. So thanks for that.

But anyways the Ravens have never beaten the Patriots, like ever and this game was no different. The real Wes Welker showed up, Sammy Morris awoke from his slumber to run through Haloita Ngata's fat gut. The offense finally looked like an offense that could scare defenses, Brady looked comfortable, and wasn't hobbling around like a gimp. And the defense, oh the defense, how nasty can you be. Merriweather may not be the smartest safety in the world, hell he went to the U, but who else can completely cover a blown assignment by sprinting completely across field to swat away a pass. And the Jets are not going 16-0. Thank you Mark Sanchez, your -1 points in fantasy football really helped me out, thats what I get for picking up a Jet.

Oh and Rodney Harrison, I appreciate your need to get your name out there by saying completely idiotic things, but seriously keep Tom's name out of your mouth.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

How 'bout them Ravens, now?