Sunday, October 18, 2009

OH YEAH!!! Patriots- Houston Oilers Sort-of-Live Blog


Whoa Whoa Whoa. At 4:39 Lawrence Maroney sprung himself for a 50 yard plus touchdown run. What kind of bizarro world is this? In the spirit of texts from last night, we at Mass Hysteria present: texts from 5 minutes ago.

Smarty Barrett 4:40pm: Wash u ass
HZMLS @ 4:440pm: Wash you ass.

Back to the game. Go Pats

Edit #1: On my way back from Dunkin's, with my traditional post hangover iced coffee I was listening to Gino Cappalletti on WBCN or whatever the hell the new radio station is that carries the Patriots. He on FOUR occasions referred to the Titans as the Oilers. Which raises an interesting question: Was he doing it because of the uniforms or because Gino really believes that the Pats are still playing the Houston Oilers.

Edit #2: I was going to come up with a witty comment about Lendale White fumbling, but I will let this photoshop pic I found on google speak for itself:

Look at that blubber fly!
Edit #3: In the spirit of Tecmo Super Bowl, Tom Brady completes a flea flicker to Randy Moss. Can the Patriots just play in the snow for the rest of the season?

Edit #4: Kerry Collins just fumbled the ball, the second fumble in the second quarter. In related news Kerry Collins isn't a very good quarterback. In even more related news the Titans suck.

Edit #5: Titans fans I hope you are enjoying this. Brady hits Moss for another touchdown pass, and after the play Randy Moss bent Jeff Fisher over and had his way with him. Chris Hope I hope you get Swine Flu, don't you ever touch Tommy like that.

Edit #6: Kerry Collins intercepted by Darius Butler, for like the 34th Titans turnover, followed by his typical "oh shit" face. Before the game Phil Simms mentioned the Pats were starting a mostly rookie secondary against the Titans, I think Belichick could have started Quincy High School's Defense against Tennessee and the Pats could still win.

Edit #7: Brady to Kevin Faulk. Nothing takes the sting out of a loss like a humiliating win. What the hell is wrong with Kyle Vanden Bosch's head? At what point does Jeff Fisher take out Kerry Collins and put in Vince Young? Or is he afraid that VY will be too sad about stuff to be effective?
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Kerry Collins 1 for 8 with 1 interception. 0 QB rating
Tom Brady 15 out of 16 for 243 yards. 158.3 rating - (perfect)
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Edit #8: I've kind of lost track with what the hell is going on in this game. Just got a text from GHABBY "This is football porn". Brady just threw his 5th touchdown pass in THE FIRST HALF. A new NFL record, we are now five minutes away from old crotchety writers bitching and moaning that the Pats are running the score up (which they are). But who gives a shit. WORSHIP HIM....GO ON WORSHIP HIM
Halftime Score: 45-0. Yes FORTY FIVE TO NUTHIN.

On that note. I might be closing up this liveblog thing to do something else.

2 comments:

Raquel said...

it's like we raped their women, got them pregnant, waited for them to give birth, and then raped the babies

shaun said...

vanden bosch has no right to resemble kevin youkilis as much as he does. i demand he grow hair, at once!