Friday, October 2, 2009

LEAVE TEDDY ALONE!


I am pissed. Very pissed. I was doing my usual morning work avoidance when I came across a tWWL article entitled:

"Book: Williams' head abused at facility"

After I stopped giggling at the endless dick jokes running through my head I read the story.

"In "Frozen," Larry Johnson, a former executive at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Ariz., writes that Williams' head, which had been severed and frozen for storage, was abused at the facility. Johnson claims a technician took baseball-like swings at Williams' frozen head with a monkey wrench."

Whoa. Red Sox Nations best non steroid enhanced player is having his head knocked around with a monkey wrench? Seriously, I can't imagine someone at a job like that saying to a coworker "oh lets take Ted Williams head out and play baseball with it" It sounds like a bad Itchy and Scratchy cartoon. Isn't it bad enough that his jerkoff son had his noggin removed and frozen? I know the lab was in Phoenix but this makes me want to take a giant steaming shit on Babe Ruth's grave just to even the score.

Update #1 h/t to Deadspin: "

Johnson writes that holes were drilled in Williams' severed head for the insertion of microphones, then frozen in liquid nitrogen while Alcor employees recorded the sounds of Williams' brain cracking 16 times as temperatures dropped to -321 degrees Fahrenheit.

Johnson writes that the head was balanced on an empty can of Bumble Bee tuna to keep it from sticking to the bottom of its case.

Johnson describes watching as another Alcor employee removed Williams' head from the freezer with a stick, and tried to dislodge the tuna can by swinging at it with a monkey wrench.

The technician, no .406 hitter like the baseball legend, missed the can with several swings of the wrench and smacked Williams' head directly, spraying "tiny pieces of frozen head" around the room."


I want to break something.....

3 comments:

SmartyBarrett said...

Hehehehehehe.

Head.

Anonymous said...

just fucking wrong.

dubbschism said...

as i understand it, the purpose of the cryogenic freezing is to someday revive him, when the science catches up to the science fiction. i'm sure by then a broken skull would be a cinch to fix, but won't it be weird for Ted Williams when he wakes up and is like, "I don't remember this scar on my forehead. And what the hell smells like tuna?"