Friday, September 11, 2009

Special Guest NFL Preview: Francine from Revere

Hi guys! My name is Francine, I live in the most beautiful, green, scenic city in all of Massachusetts. Revere!!!! I ran into GHABBY at Kelly's Roast Beef and he talked to me about this here blog. Well I was intrigued and offered to write for the blog, because I have never actually seen a computer before, let alone a blog. I offered GHABBY a handjob in the bathroom for the opportunity (he declined I guess he has a girlfriend, that has never stopped me before, but he seemed to find everything I find funny so I stopped), but when I told him I could show him a dead body, GHABBY jumped at the opportunity. SO HERE IT GOES!!!

Colts vs Jaguars. I have to go with the Jaguars here, because one time I got a promotion at Hooters when I blew my boss in his Jaguar in the parking lot. Don't laugh, I am Plus Peyton Manning reminds me of my dad, we had a relationship that was kind of complicated. Well my psychiatrist says that its not a good idea to talk about him, look at pictures of him, or be around people that look like him. Hold on I need to pop a Xanax or 15.

****ahhhhh much better*****

Detroit vs Saints. I don't really know alot about football, but I know that Detroit is like the Wonderland of the NFL. It's dirty, gross, and only people really down on their luck go there. My younger brother lost my parents house there on a horse named "Lucky Lucy", he got his life back together, now look at him. I'm so proud ;)

Plus I love New Orleans, one time I hitchhiked down there (think my hair looks big now, you should have seen it then!). Well I got down there, and ended up carrying a baby that looked like a mix between a rhinoceros and Gollum. Thank god I was quick enough to leave it on the steps of the Revere fire department. GO SAINTS!!

Philadelphia vs Carolina. Though Carolina is my favorite state, I am going to have to go with the Eagles on this one. I don't get why Mikey Vick is getting all this trouble, I mean all the hombres in my neighborhood fight dogs and its wicked fun! I get paid to go in my bra and undies and hold a sign, and the doggies are soooooo cute. I like the Eagles!! WOOHHOOOO

Miami vs Atlanta. I am going to go with Atlanta on this one. One time I went Miami during SPRING BREAK (I know I didn't go to college, but strippers need a break too!). Let me tell you, Revere Beach is so much prettier than Miami. I saw all these skanky girls down there, and I was not impressed. Plus none of the men had facial hair let alone chest hair, helllooo gold chains anyone, what are you poor? Plus what is with the lack of cologne? So yeah, I am going to go with the Atlanta Braves. Tomahawk chop!

Patriots vs Buffalo Bills. Oh my gawd. I fuckin' love the Pats, you should totally see me in my Chris Slade jersey, I look wicked hot! Plus when I'm at work at the Cabaret (the same one in GHABBY's columns, thanks for the free ad!!!) Plus that Terrell Owens show? Umm not that great, I mean can it really hold a candle to I Love NY, or Flavor of Love. Um no. So yeah, I get moist just thinking of Tommy Brady. I can just imagine, his big hands rubbing up against my leopard print leotard, oh my god. Wait what was I talking about???

Well I'm off, time to hit up Club Caravan, all those Brazilian boys were asking about me last weekend!

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