Monday, September 21, 2009

Breakfast with the Hysterics

Good morning everyone - a lot to get to today, so let's get right into it:

* The J-E-T-S toppled the Patriots 16-9 yesterday. And let's get to the crux of this, folks: Tom Brady is not Tom Brady. I mean, come on, no touchdowns?!?! Kevin O'Connell could have done that. Now if he needs to shake rust off and he'll be back to 2007 Brady by Week 5, then I'm cool with that. But if this is the new post-ACL Brady, then the Patriots are fucked. Fucked hard.

* The Red Sox completed a 3-game sweep of the Orioles behind... DAISUKE?!?! AGAIN?!?! What the shit is going on? Hey, if he's rockin' and rollin' this can only mean good things come October. Meanwhile, Texas continues to lose, and the magic number is now...

...with 14 games to play. So that means all the Sox need to do is play .500 ball the rest of the way and the Wild Card is theirs. So stock your fridge with champagne or Grey Goose or pumpkin beer and get ready for another playoff berth!

* Last but CERTAINLY not least, the results of the caption contest! We didn't get as many entries as I would have liked, but there was one that stood out to me, perhaps because I read it when I was drunk. At any rate, the winner is... *drumroll*


adrunk's entry combined recognition of the costume with japanese porn refereces into a delightful win. So as our winner, you have the choice of the following!

1. A month's supply of Sterk and Xanax courtesy of GHABB,Y~!
2. An authentic copy of the restraining order Matt Ryan has taken out against HZMLS.
3. A jar of REAL TEARS from a URI fan, from Smarty Barrett.
4. A west coast bookie will send you Sh!t Show's thumb.
5. Glittery facepaint courtesy of Raquel.
6. A lecture about how "Milk was $0.05 a gallon in my day!" from APNDR.

In all seriousness, shoot me an email: SmartyBarrett AT gmail DOT com (I would say use the mass hysteria email, but I don't even know how to check it - Raquel set it up and the password is something like "ohmygodrickankielpleaseputababyinsideme") and we'll hook you up with an authentic MLB Sox hat. You know, cuz we're that cool.


HZMLS said...

No gluten tag?

GHABB,Y~! said...

You spelled "locking and lolling" wrong in the Daisuke sentence.