Monday, September 14, 2009

Breakfast with the Hysterics

This may not be a good breakfast, but Serena Williams will feed it to you.

Good morning and Happy Monday, Hysterics; hope everyone had a great weekend. And what a crazy weekend it was! Let's recap the craziness, shall we?

*FOOTBALL STARTED! FOOTBALL! In actuality, it usually takes til like Week 3/October 1/the Red Sox season ending for me to really get immersed in football, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't really really REALLY looking forward to the Patriots game tonight. Brady's back, T.O. is talking trash, and Mike Tirico is ready to just throw someone on a table and fuck their brains out. As for yesterday's football action, the Lions still suck, Jeremy Shockey's tattoos are still hideous, and Donovan McNabb still has the durability of an anemic infant. You didn't miss anything unexpected. Now we just need to calm GHABB,Y~! down from his Percy Harvin-gasm.

* The Red Sox team we're going to go to battle (and hopefully the playoffs) with the rest of the year is starting to take shape, and I'm liking what I see. A 4-game lead in the Wild Card, some timely hitting, and a complete dismantling, funeral, and burial of the defending AL Champions over the weekend. Plus, Beckett had a strong, albeit rain-shortened outing, Lester was Lester, and Buchholz has found his man-pants and it doesn't look like he has any intention of taking them off. With those three guys at the top of a playoff rotation, this team could be a real force in October.

*Don't call Serena Williams for a foot fault. Seriously, just don't. It's a bad idea. I'm sure everyone's heard about her crazy tirade directed at the line judge by now, but if not, here's the direct quote:

"I swear to God I'm fucking going to take this fucking ball and shove it down your fucking throat, you hear that? I swear to God."

Awesome. So not surprisingly, Serena was fined the maximum amount and there could be more discipline to come. She is, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, BATSHIT INSANE.

*And to keep it going with the crazy, Kanye West gave all his haters some fuel last night when he ran on stage and tore the mic away from the whitest woman in the world, Taylor Swift. Now I wasn't watching the VMAs because I'm not in middle school anymore, but apparently Ye thought that Beyonce should have won the Best Female Video award. And I'm not condoning what Kanye did, but I mean, what he said is right - the Single Ladies video is kind of a cultural phenomenon. I've masturbated to seen that video dozens and dozens of times, I've witnessed the dance performed at bars by random patrons, and I even know a few steps of it myself. No homo. And this Swift video, well... never seen it. But all that aside, how staged was this whole thing? I mean, with all the outbursts the VMAs have experienced over the years, I'm not naïve enough to believe that this wasn't planned out beforehand. Or is there just no security there? Can anyone just rush the stage as they wish? And WOW! Beyonce won Video of the Year, and she invited Taylor Swift up to "have her moment." And she was conveniently right off stage! WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?!

Beyonce, who ended up winning Video of the Year for "Single Ladies," after all, used her acceptance-speech platform to invite Swift "to come out and have her moment." Swift emerged quickly (almost too quickly, as if this were all orchestrated well beforehand) and got enormous applause.


But anyway, here's your coincidence of the day, kids. A song produced by Kanye West and dedicated to the memory of Serena Williams' sister, who was slain on September 14th. Can't make this stuff up.

1 comment:

HZMLS said...

ODB rushing the stage at the Grammys>>>>>>>>Kanye West Rushing the Stage at the MTV Music Awards.