I know many of you are probably waiting to hear my thoughts on the Patriots game, but you are going to have to wait. Boston College played on Saturday in their first ACC game of the season. And what an epic fail it was. The game was away so I had to watch it on Raycom, which is like watching a football game on Codeine. Their feed was slow, and choppy, and during plays it would like skip, which made watching the football game nearly impossible to follow. Plus they had a billion commercials for businesses that are located strictly below the Mason Dixon line which was confusing and irritating, because I know we can't get Yuengling around here, but do I really need to hear about how awesome their beer is like fourty five times?
Pregame Food: Though it was an away game, BC has become sort of like a religion to my family, we watch it without fail every week. So for this game we had a spread of food that rivaled even a home game. Let me introduce to you the best food ever created by man: Buffalo Chicken Dip. Take Cream Cheese, sour cream, a shitload of chicken, and Frank's Hot Sauce mix it all together and you have the Perfect Storm of artery clogging goodness. No seriously, look it up and try it, devour the entire plate, and then write in your planner "sitting on the toilet" for the next week. Add on top of that Chicken Salad sandwiches, beef burritos, spreadable cheese and cookies to the mix and I am one fat happy man. If I am not a friggin blimp by the end of this season it will be a bigger miracle than George W. Bush winning a second term.
Pregame Drink: Ok. So I get a lot of crap for my selection in beer. "HZMLS what are you a girl, why are you drinking blueberry beer". Stuff like that. So when I tell you that I look forward to Shipyard Pumpkinhead beer, I expect lots of snickering and giggling. But honestly, its a darker beer, with great flavor, but go ahead rip on me. And look at the logo, it screams "Enjoy this beer, before we rip your fucking throat out". Please do me a favor and try the Pumpkinhead.
The Actual Game: Maybe I got my hopes up a little too high after watching BC dismantle Kent State and Northeastern, but I was expecting a lot more out of our offense. To put it gently our offense was pitiful. The offensive line was smacked around, the QBs looked completely overwhelmed and our running backs could never get out of the backfield. Justin Tuggle BC's main QB went 4 for 20 with 1 TD and 2 INT. ***VOMITS***. Dan Shinskie couldn't hold onto the ball and spent his time in the game tripping over his offensive linemen. I can not describe how overmatched the BC offensive line was thoughWe had 2 yards at halftime. 2 F'N YARDS. 1 first down, and a very despondent me. BC allowed one touchdown on a punt return, and like 234 field goals, so the defense was pretty solid even when Tuggle and Co had them backed up like every god damn series. This game was about as unwatchable as it gets, when you include that there were two hour long delays for rain. What the hell are rain delays during a football game?
Preview for Next Week: For the first time eva the entire active crew of Mass Hysteria will be attending a Boston College game. GHABBY can snicker at the "tailgating" efforts, and compare us to every other college that is infinitely superior to ours. SmartyBarrett can see what a tailgate actually looks like, and I can stalk Matt Ryan because I know he is going to be at that game, and I will find him, and I will violate my restraining order. Oh Matty, you are so awesome, and even though I want to see the Patriots win a part of me will be rooting for you. There will be much debauchery, so stay tuned! Hopefully I will remember enough of what happens to report back to you all