Friday, July 31, 2009

Trading Deadline Special: Sox Get a Bat, Maintain Plethora of White First Basemen

He kind of looks like a hispanic Doug Mirabelli, no? Except, you know ...good. Yes, I'm sure you know by now: the Red Sox have acquired Victor Martinez from the Indians for Justin Masturbate (at least that's what I heard Dennis Eckersley call him...) and 2 minor leaguers. Unfortunately, one of them was stud pitching prospect Nick Hagadone, who was ranked as the #3 prospect in the Sox system by Baseball America. But hey, you gotta give some to get some. And look, a power hitter! Wooo!

As I'm sure you know, Martinez is a switch-hitting C/1B/DH with solid power. Would Adrian Gonzalez have been preferred? You bet. But the Padres were asking for Clay Buchholz, Daniel Bard, Lars Anderson, Casey Kelly, Tom Brady, Raquel's tits, 3 Celtics Championship banners, and $800 billion cash (small bills only). So Martinez allows the Sox to get one of the top available power bats WITHOUT giving up Bard or Buchholz. Now it's time for Tito to figure out where he's going to play.

Then, in another smaller deal, the Sox shipped the newly acquired Adam LaRoche to the Braves for Casey Kotchman. The white first baseman ratio remains unchanged! I figured this move was to flip someone for a pitcher. But no. So now we know who the Sox going to battle with for the rest of the season. Better power, still very white, and still question marks surrounding the pitching staff in my opinion. But hey, if this revamped offense can give the starters some more run support (like more than TWO FUCKING RUNS PER GAME, for example), they could start stringing together some wins. Let's hope so.

So the trading deadline has come and gone. Let's see what's going on in the non-Red Sox world:

* The Yankees acquired Jerry Hairston, Jr. for some minor league catcher I've never heard of.

* Jake Peavy to the White Sox...and he accepted this time!

* The Tigers landed Jarrod Washburn.

* Orlando Cabrera continues his quest to play for every Major League team: he is now a Minnesota Twin.

And finally, I leave you with this to enjoy over the weekend: an amazing hate comment on GHABB,Y~!'s NBA Summer League post. Apparently we're all completely ridiculous.

Well, duh.


nfsffw said...

Hey, Swift's GF reads MH, cool!
We didn't happen to pick up Pujols for Raq's raq did we?

Boatdrinks said...

I don't feel particularly chastised by someone that doesn't properly capitalize words, sentences, and has never met an appropriately used appostrophe. But that is me. I am heading quickly for old fogey.

ballamiguel said...

"Dear Ma'am, Eat a Bag of Dicks: Taffalady"

Rocco said...

Hmm, and here I am, always laughing when I read the posts. Does that make me ridiculous too?