Wednesday, July 1, 2009
at 9:06 AM Posted by BCHysteria
If you had a good 5 hours to kill last night, you may have watched the most epic.fail in baseball this season. The Red Sox were up 6-1, with John Smoltz on the mound, looking like the ace we had been hoping when we signed him. Then something happened, the same thing that has ruined all summer plans this year. The goddamn rain. Smoltz and his 43 year old arm could not manage coming back from the rain delay, and instead the parade of shitty relievers floated in. First we had Justin Masturbate, I mean Masterson. He let in 5 runs in 2 innings, followed by the utter dominance of Manny Delcarmen, who got one out!!!! HOOORAY!!! Everything went downhill from here, with Takashi Saito (who looks like he hasn't slept in three years) Hideki Okajima and Jonathan Papelbon letting up a total of 5 runs. The nail on the coffin being a scorched double off the bat of Nick Markakis.
This game sucked for a bevy of reasons: we had not lost a game we had led by nine after the 7th since 1989!, we had not lost to the Orioles all season, we could not score against Mark Hendrickson who is a complete waste of life, and all we had to do was prevent 9 runs from scoring with 9 outs left and we couldn't do it. We can't win every game, but this one sucked. HARD. And how to we get rewarded for this most disastrous of fails? A day game!
Well back to listening to Dennis and Callahan who at this point have made the following point:
1. Michael Jackson couldn't really sing
2. There about 100 pop artists who were better than Michael Jackson. Yet all the artists they list are rock artists. One of them is Jimmy Buffet.
3. Michael Jackson indisputably molested little boys
What they have failed to mention is that after the show Gerry Callahan dresses up in glittery suits, with white gloves and cries himself to sleep watching the video for Beat It.