Wednesday, May 13, 2009
at 8:56 AM Posted by GHABB,Y~!
Dear readers, I have failed you.
After possibly my busiest day of work ever combined with a boxing workout that forced me to pull the trigger just before I was about to do my 200th pushup of the evening, I sat down to watch my beloved Celtics compete in what may possibly have been their biggest game of the season. Game 5, at home, series tied 2-2, coming off a game-winner...this shit was HYOOOGE GUY. And I proceeded to sit through a wildly uninspired first half, watching the C's brick shot after shot. And then the unspeakable happened.
I fell asleep.
Now I could blame it on my super-comfy 1950s-style recliner (seriously, the thing screams "Woman, make me a Rob Roy or I'll punch you right in the kisser"), or my insanely busy day, or the chicken parm and potatoes that I had for dinner. But being a man of principle, I shall make no excuses, and simply say that I failed both as a man and as a Celtics fan last night. I am ashamed, embarrased and seeking a new therapist.
What I missed, of course, was an epic comeback by our beloved Green, sparked by Stephon Fucking Marbury's Head Tattoo of all people. Thankfully, I have the game DVR'd and plan to watch it tonight (the new Ultimate Fighter can wait), but it won't be the same. I am a failure. I hope you find it in your hearts to forgive me.
In other Boston sports news...
- The Bruins evened their series with Carolina with an inspired 4-2 win in Carolina, meaning that we'll have a Game 7 at the Garden on Thursday. From the biggest hockey hater on this site, I'll say this: these Bruins are awesome to watch. They hit, they fight, they score and they generally impose their will on the opposition when they need to. Aaron Ward recovered from a broken face to play 20 minutes, because he's the fucking MAN. Mark Recchi took his super-Geritol and scored a goal and an assist. To quote my favorite wrestling chant, Carolina, on Thursday night, you're gonna get your fucking head kicked in (clap ten times)!
-Completing the Trifecta of Awesomeness (not to be confused with the Trifecta of Shame, which my friend Chris originated in college when he pissed, shit and vomited in his bed at the same time), the Sox came back from a 3-1 deficit to beat the Angels 4-3 last night in Anaheim. If you stayed up to watch that game after the C's and Bruins wins, well, then my hat's off to you as you suck down your third Red Bull of the morning.
-To everyone's surprised, Roger Clemens continued to be a lying douche, reiterating his "I didn't take steroids, I swear!" defense on the already-insufferable Mike and Mike radio show. Roger, I have a suggestion for the next substance you pump into your body: a nice, tall glass of Shut the Fuck Up. Just admit it, go home to your wife's Adam's Apple and never bother anyone ever again. Please.