Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Boston Sports Tonight!

The "Boston Sports Tonight!" post, used to be a regular post here at MH, has for the most part fallen off. Whether it is due to other contractual obligations, or pure laziness, is between me and the other four editors. But tonight....tonight.....tonight is one of those nights, where this feature has to come back. This is a day that helps you to get through one of those sucktastic days at work, because you know, you just know there is piles of sports on when you get home. THREE games tonight, not just one, so if you are living in the city find a bar that has a splitter, or hook up TV's in three different rooms because tonight is going to be intense.

Celtics v Orlando. After the Celtics layed a giant steamy smelly pile of shit on the parquet on Monday, they need to rebound (literally and metaphorically) tonight and beat the Magic. First on their list of necessary changes would be some sort of shooting game from Rajon Rondo and Ray Allen. Not to sound like Debbie Downer, but if the Celtics lose tonight, this series is pretty much over. But they won't, scribble that down. As mentioned by GHABBY in previous posts Stan Van Gundy is too stupid to beat the Celtics at home twice, instead of using Dwight Howard to destroy Kendrick Perkins/ Big Baby/Travis Knight, and it will only take Rashard "Im 6'11 but have no inside game" Lewis to go cold to lose.

Friviolous Bet: Kevin Garnett rips off his finely tailored suit to reveal he has had the Celtics jersey on underneath all along. Scores 50 and reduces Dwight Howard to a scriveling girl.

Realistic Prop Bet: Stephon Marbury finally started showing the offensive threat that we hoped when we signed him after his banishment from the Island of Manhattan. If Marbury can shoot, and give the C's some resemblance of depth C's win. Celtics win 100-93.

Bruins v Hurricanes: During Game 2 I watched the game with GHABBY, SmartyBarrett, Raquel and one of the editors from Melt Your Face Off. I don't know much about hockey, but I learned two things real fast. Cam Ward is a fucking sick goalie, and the Hurricanes are a FAST hockey team. Combine that with a game on the road, and you have to have a bit of a queasy feeling going into this one. I really want to see the Bruins win this one, but I have a bad feeling about it. The Bruins need to slow them down, by grabbing their leading scorer, and beating the ever loving crap out of him.

Frivolous Bet: In an unexplainable act of carnage, Zdeno Chara beats Cam Ward to a pulp, causing the Hurricanes backup goal to play, allowing 6 goals in the process

Realistic Prop Bet: Sigh. Hurricanes 2-1.

Red Sox vs Indians: Finally the Red Sox return home to face Carl Pavano and the Indians. Yes Pavano, who is right behind Bernie Madoff on the NY Praise Scale, got a contract to pitch for a team. Predictably Pavano has pitched like 2009 Bea Arthur, much to the dismay of the Tribe, but not to the surprise of anyone else with a pulse. The Indians aren't very good this year, and are still behind the Zach Greinke Behemoth in the AL Central. Youkilis and Jacoby aren't playing tonight, but against a pitcher like Pavano, and at home, they will be able to score runs.

Frivolous Prop Bet: Jeff Bailey and Jonathan Van Every lead the way scoring 4 runs a piece, and capped with Bailey hitting an inside the park home run against Pavano. Pavano responds by leaping off the Green Monster during the 7th inning stretch.

Realistic Prop Bet: Would there be a more appropriate pitcher for David Ortiz to hit his first home run off the year than Carl Pavano? Ortiz goes yard early, and dictates the tempo of the game, Sox cruise 10-3.

Have a great night post and all you tech nerds dont forget about our FACEBOOK and TWITTER pages!

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