Thursday, April 30, 2009

Hey, What's This In My Email Archive Folder?



Ed. Note: While cleaning up my Outlook Express files, I discovered that there were some old emails from late 2006/early 2007 that weren't actually addressed to me. I think I had been BCC:'d on them or something. But lo and behold, I discovered one that was, shall we say, interesting....



From: Henry, John (PaleRider@redsox.com)
Date: 11/8/2006 10:47 PM
To: David J. Drew (robohitterunit2476bis6@dodgers.com)
cc: Epstein, Theo (theo@redsox.com); Hoyer, Jed (JEEEED@redsox.com); Francona, Terry (ILuvVets@redsox.com)
Subject: A Man's Truth

Dear JD,

A man needs a muse. Well, he doesn't really. He doesn't need nearly as much as he generally thinks he does. A man is greedy. Greedy for what he doesn't think he has and what he thinks he wants.

We probably wouldn't have wandered far beyond the basic necessities without that pushing us. Progress is one of its most important byproducts.

So you will ask, "Why are you writing this?" Because a brief encounter-and-a-half with you gave a cool spin to this little Dodger-blue planet from my vantage point.

We feted that skeletal Gammons fellow tonight and the skies opened. The sun emerged and created a giant rainbow between the city and the park. We were transfixed.
You only saw it if you were in the right place. I was in the right place when I noticed you.

I barely know you. I don't have any illusions about capturing your heart. But the world is brighter, better, lighter and warmer when a man imbues a left-handed hitter he knows - even tabula rasa - with the attributes I believe reside in you. It's the small things that ultimately matter. The subtle things.

I am honest. I don't play games. And I see no reason not to say that I've been smitten by you and you've done me a great service.

You've very innocently made my world brighter, better, lighter and warmer.

So thanks.

No response is necessary because a man doesn't need nearly as much as he thinks he does.

But how would you feel about, say, $14M/yr, 5 yrs, with injury opt-outs?

Respectfully,

John Henry
CEO and President
Boston Red Sox
4 Yawkey Way
Boston, MA 02215

p.s. You're hot.

3 comments:

HZMLS said...

Oh god, JD Drew fan fiction flashbacks are coming back.....FUCK

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Heh heh heh

/makes evil hand-tent thing

Jay said...

Well done, sir.