Friday, April 24, 2009

Celtics-Bulls Game 3: Speed Demon Glen Davis


If any one image summarized a basketball game, it is the one above. Glen Davis, he of the Rubenesque body type (one that struck fear into the heart of our own SmartyBarrett when he saw Big Baby at CVS a few weeks back) not only dribbling, but fucking leading a fast break. When I saw this occurrence on my television, I literally had to rewind it four times to prove that yes, that was indeed Big Baby outrunning the likes of Derrick Rose and Ben Gordon to go coast-to-coast. Glen Motherfucking Davis! Leading a fast break! Holy shit!

Suffice it to say, last night's severe drubbing of our frisky friends from Chicago warmed the cockles of this diehard C's fan. This is the Celtics team we hoped would show up for the playoffs. One that jumped out to an early lead and just kept the throttle on "severe asskicking." As one that has watched roughly 30 of Mike Tyson's early fights over the last month or so, last night's C's reminded me of mid-80s Iron Mike (pre-Robin Givens, that evil succubus) dominating his opponents with unmatched brutality and that special "My only mission in life is to kill this motherfucker" glean in their collective eye. As a big fan of severe, one-sided beatings, it was simply beautiful to watch.

Last night's win also, I think, will have a significant psychological affect, both on the C's and their young opponents. "Usain Bolt" Davis and his band of ring-bearing champions not only beat the Bulls in every facet of the game last night, but did so on Chicago's home court. Like Rick James at Eddie Murphy's house, they said "fuck yo' couch!" and proceeded to humble the Bulls like the Iron Sheik. Jump out to a big lead? Howsabout a 22 point lead at halftime. Stop the Bulls' dangerous guards? Rose and Gordon went a combined 9-27 from the field. Make their threes? The C's shot 57% behind the arc. Get Pierce back on track? El Capitan had 24, including one sick off-balance three from the corner after he was mosh-pitted prior to the shot (how the fuck was that not a foul?) Hell, even Stephon Marbury's Head Tattoo had the best game of his short Celtics career, scoring 13 in 24 minutes and showing flashes of the Starbury of old.

While I do have some points of concern - namely Rondo's gimpy ankle/foot and the apparent hit put out on Tony Allen, last night's game still had me feeling nothing but confident that the Celtics would come away with this series and, more importantly, shut the trap of our dear friend Zach at Slow Breaker. Rose petals my ass, Sunday can't come soon enough.

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