Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Celtics Are in the Playoffs!

Despite a tumultuous season, the Boston Celtics last night eeked out the East's last playoff berth on the final day of the season, winning a shootout over the Hawks 137-132. Star center Mark Blount led the Celtics with 27 points and 12 rebounds, and midseason addition Jiri Welsch also had 12 boards in the win over the hapless Hawks. The C's big surprise however was guard Marcus Banks, who poured in 28 points off the bench while taking many minutes from starting point guard Chucky Atkins. The Hawks were paced by 24 points from star forward Chris Crawford, but could not stop the indomitable will of the gritty C's in their quest to make the playoffs. Boston will now play top-ranked Indiana in what shall be a big test for the Green, but led by veterans Walter McCarty and Dana Barros, the 36-46 Celtics feel they have a fighting chance.

Waitasec. I thought for a second that it was 2004. My bad.

Rather, the C's clinched a playoff berth last night against the Nets with 20 games left in the season. Though, to be fair, weren't we all of course were desperately afraid that the C's would end the season on a 20-game losing streak and lose the 8th seed to the Bulls? Thankfully, the Celtics are now playoff-bound, becoming the first NBA team to officially gain entry into the playoff hole (though Cleveland also clinched a playoff spot last night) in what is a very top-heavy East. How top-heavy? The Phoenix Suns, who are three games out of a playoff spot in the West, would be the East's FOURTH seed right now. If the East was a porn star, it would be Heather Hooters for chrissakes.

She's sure got a nice...face.

There is, of course, the matter of seeding that keeps the Celtics from actually having some semblance of motivation for the next six weeks of games. Boston is now percentage points behind the Cavs for the top seed in the East, with both teams tied in the win column (Cleveland has two less losses). But would the top seed really be all that important? Being the No. 1 seed would mean that the C's would probably have to play Atlanta in the second round, a team that absolutely gives them fits and took them to seven games last year. Meanwhile, resting their top stars (all of whom are over-30 and have battled nagging injuries this year) would mean comfortably settling into the No. 2 or even No. 3 spot, and playing Orlando, a team that the C's own like a prison bitch, in the second round. And honestly, there's really little difference in first-round opponents between Milwaukee/Philly/New Jersey/Chicago/Charlotte/whoever. It's not like playing the 8 seed would be a breeze while the 7 seed is super-tough. They all suck equally.

Now I'm not advocating "tanking" by any means, especially as I think it's humanly impossible for a team with Kevin Garnett on their roster to tank absolutley anything. But I am saying that if the Cavs get the top seed over the Green, I'll actually be okay with it. Let LeBron bust his ass for 82 games trying to sew up the top seed. Let Ilgauskas put more stress on his feet, Delonte grow more herpes sores and Wally Z play heavy minutes while wearing a Man Fur. Meanwhile, we'll be letting KG's knee completely heal, Paul Pierce taking a few games off from being the NBA's Mike Alstott and our inexperienced bench guys get some valuable late-season burn heading into the playoffs. So enjoy the No. 1 seed Cleveland. See you in the Eastern Conference Finals.


Raquel said...

That's the worst fucking MS Paint job I've ever seen. Nicely done.

Raquel said...

That's the worst fucking MS Paint job I've ever seen. Nicely done.

Raquel said...


HZMLS said...

That girl is going to have some serious back issues when she gets older.

ballamiguel said...

Paul Pierce=NBA's Mike Alstott. Truer words have never been spoken.

Pepster said...

Paul Pierce = to Mike Alstott

Only 1 ever deserved to be in an All-Star game.