This morning our good friends over at 3:10toJoba have created a prospect profile for Lars Anderson, aka the only way we can forget Mark Teixeira. Take it away J.
Name: Lars Anderson
BA Prospect Ranking: 17
Organization: The Boston Red Sox
Nickname: Rocket Power
Expected arrival in the major leagues: 2009
Expected level of adoration from Red Sox fans for being whiter than the driven snow: What do you expect? Imagine the love that you would feel for a baby seal pup.
Easy comparison that required no forethought: Mark Teixeira, hurts don't it?
Strengths: Protypical body for a power hitter; lots of power; good eye at the plate
Weaknesses: Can't grow facial hair like Kevin Youkilis; whiffs a lot despite having the aforementioned good eye
Likely to make emo Mike Lowell even more upset about not having a job anymore: Oh god, yes
More impressive in context, his having a .133 batting average in Spring Training or having that same number as a BAC: The BAC, of course.
Number of days into the 2009 season before Curt Schilling tries to write an overly flattering blog post about him: 9
Favorite work of literature: The Clansmen
Career outlook: Likely to take the world by storm at some point during the upcoming year when the Red Sox realize they don't want to start Brad Wilkerson at first base when Youk is manning the hot corner in lieu of that invalid Mike Lowell. Becomes a cult hero in Boston due to having an easily chantable name a la Jay Bruce from 2008. People overlook the fact that he swings away too often and isntead focus on the 30+ annual homers he knocks into the bullpen in Fenway. In other words, he's Adam Dunn with respect.