Monday, March 9, 2009

Catch a Prospect: Lars Anderson

This morning our good friends over at 3:10toJoba have created a prospect profile for Lars Anderson, aka the only way we can forget Mark Teixeira. Take it away J.


Name: Lars Anderson

Height: 6'4

Weight: 210

Age: 22

BA Prospect Ranking: 17

Organization: The Boston Red Sox

Nickname: Rocket Power

Expected arrival in the major leagues: 2009

Expected level of adoration from Red Sox fans for being whiter than the driven snow: What do you expect? Imagine the love that you would feel for a baby seal pup.

Easy comparison that required no forethought: Mark Teixeira, hurts don't it?

Strengths: Protypical body for a power hitter; lots of power; good eye at the plate

Weaknesses: Can't grow facial hair like Kevin Youkilis; whiffs a lot despite having the aforementioned good eye

Likely to make emo Mike Lowell even more upset about not having a job anymore: Oh god, yes

More impressive in context, his having a .133 batting average in Spring Training or having that same number as a BAC: The BAC, of course.

Number of days into the 2009 season before Curt Schilling tries to write an overly flattering blog post about him: 9

Favorite work of literature: The Clansmen

Career outlook: Likely to take the world by storm at some point during the upcoming year when the Red Sox realize they don't want to start Brad Wilkerson at first base when Youk is manning the hot corner in lieu of that invalid Mike Lowell. Becomes a cult hero in Boston due to having an easily chantable name a la Jay Bruce from 2008. People overlook the fact that he swings away too often and isntead focus on the 30+ annual homers he knocks into the bullpen in Fenway. In other words, he's Adam Dunn with respect.

3 comments:

SmartyBarrett said...

Strengths: Protypical body for a power hitter; lots of power; great eye at the plate.

Fixed.

Odds That Smarty Barrett Is Over-rating Every Prospect In The Sox System: 100/1

Boatdrinks said...

Odds that I will laugh at either of your info...1/1.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Odds that he and his brother Bo will fir' up the ol' Genril Lee and git theyselves inta a heap o' trouble with ol' Boss Hogg: 1/15