Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Breakfast with the Hysterics



Good morning friends and happy Tuesday. We're steadily approaching my favorite time of year - we're about a week and a half away from Selection Sunday, which leads into the NCAA Tournament, which leads nicely into baseball season. WOOT. Boston sports was pretty quiet yesterday, with only the Red Sox in Spring Training action, dropping a 5-3 decision to the Orioles. OMG WTF THEY ARE TEH SUCK! Rastafarian Justin Masterson started and pitched very well, throwing two innings of one-hit ball. I still personally would like to see him in the starting rotation this year, but it's clear he'll be valuable wherever he's used. The Sox lost this one on a 2-run homer in the bottom of the 8th, given up by a pitcher who wears number 90, so clearly they're destined to finish in last place, 60 games out, and lose every game to the Yankees and Rays by at least 10 runs.

Since it's Tuesday, let's revive and old and infrequent segment: Tuesday Storytime.

Fellow Hysteric GHABBY had been talking up a Bee Gees heavy metal cover band to HZMLS and I for a few weeks because they were playing at the Hard Rock Cafe in Boston. We agreed to join him for the show, which was this past Friday night. When we arrived, we learned that GHABBY had gone to a signing hosted by the members of The Lonely Island and would be arriving a bit late to the show. After sending him a few quick texts, we deduced that he was more than a little wasted. Example:

Text from me: So how is the Andy Samberg make-out party?

Text response from GHABBY: He's dreamy. Actually wevwe waited two hors to meet them. In the rain. Samberg better fellaitch me.

Um, yeah. So upon GHABBY's arrival, we learned he poured 5 Strongbows into a Wendy's Biggie cup to drink while in line, and also consumed a presumed large quantity of vodka at some point. He produces a stress ball of sorts from his pocket, shaped like human testicles, which is signed by all three members of The Lonely Island. "THEY SIGNED MY BALLS!" Then we all stood there, some more wobbly and drink-spilly than others, and enjoyed the band:




Quite simply, it was unique and strange and frankly very awesome. Certainly a show to tell your friends and blog-readers about. The following morning both HZMLS and I received this email:

Date: Sat, Feb 28, 2009 at 7:45 AM
Subject: Holy christ I don't remember a thing

I seriously remember getting to the show last night, seeing you two...and then everything goes black. Did I do anything to publicly embarrass myself? Thanks for coming out.


---------------

Out-fucking-standing.

On a side note, it's been no secret that all of us here at MH have been quite busy with work and other non-bloggy things so excuse us for the lack of posts. In the down-time, enjoy this little bit I wrote for Slow Breaker this morning, concerning Jay Cutler, Matt Cassel, and the Patriots. And check out Slow Breaker - HZMLS, GHABBY and I have some good stuff going on there.

5 comments:

HZMLS said...

Sweet merciful Christ, Tragedy was awesome.

GHABB,Y~! said...

Seriously I'm not drinking for a loooong time. I'd never blacked out in my life before, and I lived in a fucking fraternity house for three years in the South for Chrissakes. Worst. Night. EvAr.

Raquel said...

I still personally would like to see [Masterson] in the starting rotation this year

WRONG.

Also, I'm quite sad I missed out on the fun Friday night, although I did get nice and shitty at my friend's birthday party and have whiskey purchased for me by several cute boys. There's just not enough time in the world...

SmartyBarrett said...

Raquel, there's certainly arguments to both and I'm not super adamant about it, but I feel like 150 innings of 146 ERA+ > 50 innings of 146 ERA+.

Boatdrinks said...

Hey, anybody that would like to hear an awesome rant against Cutler, go to Dan Patrick dot com; he had on Scott Hastings who amongst other stuff, called Cutler a punk and a little bitch. he he hehehee.