Friday, February 13, 2009

Will You Be My Valentine, Terry Glenn?


Awwww, It's been a tough past decade Terry. I know things have been kind of rough, what with the getting cut by the Patriots, Packers, and now mostly recently the Cowboys. You were supposed to be the next Jerry Rice when you came out of THE Ohio State, but you really never lived up to it. Your life got really tough when your masculinity was called into question by the Big Tuna when he referred to you as a "she". Honestly Terry, you don't look anything like a woman. That's why I want you to be my Valentine Terry, because well frankly it looks like you could use a hug. True you were never my favorite player on the Patriots, well in fact I found you to be a prissy primadonna that never lived up to his hype. But after being benched for most of 2001 and forced to watch your team win the Super Bowl from your couch, love should be the medicine for what ails you.


And not marijuana. My god Terry put down the joint, we can talk about this and get you the help that you need! Look, I aint' going to go gay for you or nothing (my heart is with another football player in Atlanta), but I want to give you a big man hug. Come here, give ole HZMLS a good squeeze, see doesn't that feel better already? Maybe a good ole heart to heart will prevent you from running around a hotel naked, or consequently getting arrested for public intoxication. Look we have all been in your shoes, hell the last time I got loaded I ended up blacked out in my bed with no recollection of how I got home, and reeking like failure. But I feel for you man, I want to see you beat this thing, and that is why I have chosen you to be my Valentine this year.

P.S- Let's be honest you are still better than Patrick Crayton.

No comments: