Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Free At Last, Free At Last, Lord Have Mercy We're Free At Last!


Not sure if you guys caught the news today, but it seems that Celtics guard/MASSIVE FUCKING ALBATROSS Tony Allen will miss the rest of the regular season after undergoing thumb surgery. I am only to assume that Allen injured the thumb while sticking it up his ass while attempting to do something productive on the basketball court, or jamming it on a basketball that was passed to him, creating yet another turnover. Even still, the loss of Allen can only mean good things for the Celtics. My only regret is that Allen only hurt his thumb and wasn't, say, hit by a train going into North Station. Though there's still hope.

Now, the rumor is that TA (short for "Turnover Again") may return in time for the playoffs, but if I was Doc Rivers, I'd attempt in every way possible to keep Allen away from my team come playoff time. Whether that means telling him the wrong time for practices, giving him the wrong plane tickets, or putting up a sign that says "No Tony Allens Allowed" on the locker room door - I really don't care, so long as Allen doesn't see the court come playoff time.

In fact, the only benefit that came from Allen appearing in a Celtics uniform is that the team met the Americans with Disabilities Act by employing a retarded person on their roster. But, while politically correct and all, the playing and employment of Allen led to a bonehead play roughly every 10 seconds, and a guaranteed blown lead every time he got out on the court. You could replace Allen with Michael Rappaport and we'd see an improvement. And Michael Rappaport sucks.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Fuck You!! Look at the box score 14 points. Does that suck?

Anonymous said...

You sound stupid as hell

Anonymous said...

This is a fucking dumbass comment. You're the retard dude.