Monday, February 2, 2009

Breakfast With the Hysterics

I don't know about you guys, but that sure was a memorable Super Bowl. Harrison's 100-yard interception, Fitzgerald's turbo-powered run after the catch, Holmes tippy-toeing in the end zone, and, oh yeah, A 59 YEAR OLD MAN'S BALLS IN OUR FACES.

Congrats go out to the Steelers and all of that, but the real highlight for me was seeing my girlfriend, who knows very little about football, turn into a degenerate gambler due to her $5 square. You all probably had someone similar at your party - knowing that they somehow won money if the quarter ended with the Steelers at 0 and the Cardinals at 9, but no idea how such a scoring permutation would occur. Being the asshole that I am, I took great pleasure in convincing my girlfriend that a five-point play was possible "if a punt is caught simultaneously by two members of the punting team behind the goalpost" or that a safety was caused if a player ran to the left hash mark on the three yard line and yelled "Safety" while touching the first-down marker, much like in Hide and Go Seek. Gambling - it brings everyone together.

In other news, the Celtics kicked ass, George St. Pierre kicked more ass, and the Bruins kicked ass twice. But this morning's question, dear readers, is the following: have you ever made up a sports rule to mess with another person's head?


The A-Train said...

I often tell people that tie-breaking scenarios involve sack races being held on consecutive sundays until a winner is declared.

I missed the halftime show because I was heating up the second bacon/sausage log.

Boatdrinks said...

That is a serious pork product...
I know I told horrible lies to my little sister when we were 10 and 6. But, nowadays, I skip the lies.
I find a lot of people are so clueless about sports I just listen and smirk.
My boss turned off the TV with 3:50 left in the 4th qtr last night and totally missed the AZ run followed by the comeback. Sigh. I don't speak that language.