Monday, January 12, 2009

This Schaudenfreude Thing is Pretty Fun

Oh boy do I love watching my enemies flounder as they fail in the NFL Playoffs. Before I start this off, yes I get it "WELL AT LEAST MY TEAM MADE THE PLAYOFFS" and "YOU CAN"T LAUGH AFTER THE SUPER BOWL LAST YEAR". Listen douchebags, you were the same dickwads who last year were laughing at the Patriots when they failed, well my friends it's time to turn the other cheek and get ready for the large juicy boner that is coming your way.

Giants Oh the medias baby, the team that everyone thought was going to do what only the Patriots could do which of course is repeat. Looks like Eli isn't going to take Tom Brady's throne as the best QB in the NFL, yesterday he looked more like JP Losman than Joe Montana. And maybe we jumped to conclusions that he was the clutchiest clutch QB to clutch the clutch. And it appears that your Cheddar Bob was much more important to your offense than you expected (Please, please please blame this loss on him). It must really hurt to lose to a team that barely made the playoffs, a coach that has ballooned to the size of a walrus and a QB that couldn't beat the Bungals. Guess what pals, you can take last year's Super Bowl and shove it up your ass.

Colts Oh but we have won a Super Bowl. Wah Wah Wah. Yeah guess what the NFL MVP, the world's best QB can't compensate for the complete shitshow that the Colts become in the playoffs. You are the Atlanta Braves of the NFL, you win and win and win, but always fail in the playoffs. Last year, you lost to the Chargers, and this year you lost to the CHARGERS AGAIN. This time you lost to a Chargers D that was missing their steroid freak LB. And remember all that talk about Joseph Addai becoming the leagues best RB? Hell I will a Colts cheerleaders uniform for a week when that happens. Hey even Tony Dungy realizes that the Colts ovulation time is over, he is going to leave the team to go preach his anti gay hate crap full time.

Chargers- Ok Chargers fans lets look at one thing. You may love your boy LT but can you please point out one playoff game not in a divisional series that he was healthy? My god this guy is a walking ER, every year around January its time for LT to tear his vagina, or rip his labia. Poor baby. At least you had some depth this year, with Darren Sproles who ripped the Colts D to shreds then proceeded to get annihilated by the Steelers D. I have a suggestion for you, Sproles is going to be a free agent next month, let him walk. Hell it seemed to work well with Michael Turner.
Turner: 1699 Yards 17 TDS
LT: 1110 Yards 11 TDS

Dolphins Oh the Fins, the feel good story of the year, which was all because of your gimmicky offense. No I am not talking about the Wild Cat, which took off five years of my life in one game. I am speaking of course about your fraud QB Chad Pennington. Yes the guy that many thought should be an NFL MVP candidate, the same guy who won his 2ND comeback player award. Do you know what winning that award means? It means that you sucked or were hurt for such a period of time most people thought your career was dead. For Pennington, who has won it twice that's like the equivalent to 4 shitty years out of the 7 he has been a starter. Yes he has been a crappy QB for many years, hence the reason the Jets gave up on him. What you saw against the Ravens is what your going to get more of next year in heaping globs. Bags and bags of PenningtonSUCK.

No comments: