Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Dear Tim: A Response From "Red Sox Nation"


Dear Tim,

My name is HZMLS, I have been a Boston Red Sox fan my entire life. I have stuck by this team through the Dwayne Hosey years, when Pat Rapp was a starting pitcher, and I vaguely remember the '86 World Series. I have always stuck by my team, and though times could be shitty, it makes the good ones that much more sweeter. Recently I read that you are abandoning your home team the San Diego Padres and are "selling" your fandom to whatever team would give you an explanation of why you should be their fan, and a cap to start you off. The Red Sox were the only team that responded to your lame ass letter, and so you have chosen them. WHOOPEE! Let me say as a die hard rational Red Sox fan, go to hell pal, we don't want you.

You know why the Red Sox wanted you to join their fanbase? Because the Red Sox are revenue creating whores that will do whatever the hell it takes to siphon as much money as they can from stupid assholes like you. You want proof? Look at this "Red Sox Nation" card they sell, what is it 50 bucks to prove that you are a Sox fan? Any true Sox fan knows thats a fucking ploy, and would rather spend this money on, well anything else. What my shelling out 30 bucks for a ticket in the bleachers, 15 bucks for beers and 80 bucks for Beckett jersey not enough proof? Look Tim, the Sox don't really care about you or your fandom they just want your money. If for some reason they started losing, and you left the team and pimped yourself out again do you think they would give a shit. You are just another faceless number that is willing to shell out money. Do you really want to root for a team like that?

Second of all this is a bit more personal. Why the hell are you selling your "fandom"? What kind of fucking sports fan are you? Oh my team isn't playing well, we haven't made a World Series in 10 years, WAH WAH WAH. You are pathetic. You know what, here in Boston we dealt with plenty of shitheads who set back our organization like um lets see the Yawkeys, who didn't want BLACK PEOPLE ON OUR TEAM. Here is some advice for you since you seem like a piss poor sports fan anyways, DONT FOLLOW ANY TEAMS. I don't want to see you or your frosted hair anywhere near Fenway Park, myself along with other REAL Red Sox fans have a hard enough time getting tickets I don't want to have to fight to get seats with dolts like you. Go back to surfing, eating sushi or whatever hell else you do in San Diego. We have enough douchebags to go around here in Boston, we don't need anymore of you.

We here at MH resent you "Tim", because you stand for everything we are against. You in one fell swoop made our team and fanbase look like shitheads, and for that we resent you. You are not welcome in Boston, or at Fenway Park, go back to the Padres and enjoy Adrian Gonzalez and Jake Peavy while they are still there.

7 comments:

shaun said...

Tell that stupid son of a bitch to root for the Yankees with the rest of the cesspool that lack brain cells. Fuck him.



BTW, I paid $15 for my Red Sox Nation card. Actually, I paid $15 for the audio of all MLB games, and the card happened to come with it.

stanley cup of chowder said...

I couldn't have said it better myself...and we all know that I am a wordsmith.

Pepster said...

And Tim, should you decide not to enjoy being a member of Red Sox Nation, stay the hell away from my Marlins!

J said...

As a member of said cesspool, I would beg not to be insulted by men who spell their name as gaily as "S-H-A-U-N." That's on par with Brian with a "Y"...

Having said that, I don't think any fanbase deserves this asshole "Tim."

SmartyBarrett said...

Commenter fight!

Shaun said...

It's a hell of a lot better than Sean. Also, with a name like "J", I wouldn't talk. The "J" is probably hiding something gay, like "Jayson" or "Joba".

J said...

It's a hell of a lot blacker than Sean

*fixed

/not making it a race thing, just stating the truth

Also, I would have to incredibly fortunate to have had my parents name me Joba in 1988 in order to fulfill my supposedly gay destiny of starting a Yankee blog named after a player with the same name in the year 2007...