Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Cocktail Hour with Antoine Walker

HEY. Icha boy Antttttoiiiiine WALKER!!!!! Remember me? Holy friggin crap this past few weaks has bin AWEEESOME. Oh man, where did I put that....oh thur it is.

Mmmmm yummy yummy, that is the taste of sweet victory right there. God I needed that, life has been pretty sweet after Memphis released me from my contract. No need to play basketball or get off the couch, people will stop making fun of my weight and ragging on my toally bitchin' shot selection. Plus because I'm dead broke I no longer have to wurry 'bout my home gettin invaded, and havin all my shit jacked. Besss of all I can finally stop workin' out and get back to the thing I love mos. Oh yeah come to daddy, I won't have to pass you to neone but myslef....

(wipes pickle from jowel) That is better than sex with a Quincy hook'r let me tell you that. But iif you wan a tip from Uncle Toine here it fuckin' iz. Git a girl and cover her in McD's Secret Sauce, that my frend is a treet you will never fo'get. Speaking of treets, my drinky is EMPTY BAR GIRL!!!! FILL UP MYYYY FUCKIN' CUP.

Thanks ho. Hooooodoggie, I love me some Patron! Well anyways, though I love the un-mployed life, I here that the Celtics are looking for sum help on the bench. Dooo you have my resume? NO? WHERE THE HELLL IZ IT!???? I cin play point, shooting guard, forwards, or scenter. Hell I can do anything, and have you seen my wiggle? I can dance mother fuckers.. Look at this....YEah you like dat, don't you. Soo, where was I? Oh yea fuck Stephon Marbury, that ball hoggin mother fucker. Bring back the 'Toine, I was ment for Bostin. Hell, I'll drive up ther write now and pitch the same fuckin' thing to Danny Ainge!


GHABB,Y~! said...

Now we know that the 'Toine Wiggle wasn't a celebratory dance, but instead Employee No. 8 trying to retain his equilibrium after a pregame bender.

Mathemagician said...


'Toine shimmies much like someone who hits the final cup in Beer Pong/Beirut to win the 10th straight game in a college party basement

Not that I've done that a few times or anything...

/height of my drunk-atheltic accomplishments

* If +1s are allowed here, I'm willing to dole them out since I'm not all that funny myself