Thursday, January 15, 2009

Breakfast with the Hysterics


Well here we are it's a Thursday, we have almost made it to that long weekend. It's freaking cold out here, going to hit below 0 in the next couple of nights, which I'm sure some of you readers up north are laughing about, but for some of us Bostonians it's brutal. Mixed bag last night in Boston sports, the Celtics clobbered the Nets 118-86. The Nets were really never in this game, even though they hung around a while, and it probably didn't help their cause that Vince-owe me Knee went 1-10 from the field. Waa Waa Waa. And even in a game like this Sean Williams didn't play, which made me piss myself, because yes even though he played for BC I fucking cant stand him. We missed the Final Four the year he was thrown out of school solely because he couldn't stop smoking weed and being a complete fuck up. To steal the words of GHABBY!, Sean Williams eat a dick. You have talent that could make you an NBA star, but because you have the brain that's a mixture of Jerry Garcia and Plaxico Burress your NBA career will be nothing but a hairy smelly "BOD". This game was so lopsided that the Celtics even played Bill Walker, but unfortunately I had tuned out at this point, sorry watching the scrubs play up by 30 is pretty boring. Also in quasi Boston sports, BC basketball got their ass handed to them by the very good Wake Forest squad. As the season progresses its pretty clear that the UNC game was a complete fluke.

Now for something completely different. As I was driving to work the other day I heard a news story on Howard Stern and the first thing that came to my mind was MY GOD I HAVE TO POST THIS ON BREAKFAST. A California man is in deep shit after trying to sell his 14 year old daughter for, get this "100 cases of Corona, 50 cases of Modelo, 100 cases of soda and two cases of wine, topped off with six cases of beef." Wow. Most people would probably ask for money if they were going to sell their child and doom them to a life of servitude and rape. But not Marcelino de Jesus who must a) really like to drink b) is a big fan of a nice steak after a day of auctioning off his children c) needs to learn the fine art of bartering. Oh and to make this story even more interesting, when the man who was going to buy his daughter never came up with the goods what did de Jesus do? HE CALLED THE POLICE TO COMPLAIN. De Jesus who recently moved his here from Mexico, and apparently misunderstood our countries law created in 1865 that BANNED HUMAN SLAVERY AND TRAFFICKING. He faces a litany of charges including human trafficking, statutory rape and others.

2 comments:

Rocco said...

The statutory rape charge is against her arranged husband, not the dad. Just saying.

Boatdrinks said...

My colleague and I are laughing, but yet "how the hell can it happen?" BTW, my colleague is a boat person Vietnamese American and even she knew this was basically highly illegal!!!