Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Barkevious. Mingo.

I bet all of you just read the subject of this article and thought "oh shit, GHABB,Y took too much medicine this morning and is now making up words, it's only a matter of hours until he's covered his naked body in condiments and doing Indian war dances in the snow." And, to that effect, you're partially correct, as I've started applying horseradish to my testicles while on my lunch break. But, horseradish nuts or no, Barkevious Mingo is a REAL PERSON. In fact, he's the top ranked high school linebacker in Louisiana, and a four-star national recruit. LOOK, LOOK, HE'S REAL:

He even has a Scout.com profile. which doesn't even make any jokes about how his fucking name is BARKEVIOUS MOTHERFUCKING MINGO. Barkevious is apparently debating between LSU, Alabama, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Notre Dame, but whichever school he chooses will immediately change its name to the University of Barkevious Mingo.

I've put together a few useful phrases to say if you ever happen to meet the force of awesomeness that IS Barkevious Mingo:

"Barkevious Mingo, would you mind passing the salt?"

"Hey Barkevious Mingo, do you have your notes from Psych class?"

"Holy fucking shit on a fucking stick, is your name really Barkevious Mingo? If so, can I start a religion around you?"

Barkevious Mingo, we salute you.

(much thanks to the online college football Bible, EDSBS, for revealing to me the greatness that is Barkevious Mingo)

1 comment:

Pepster said...

And Mr. Barkevious Mingo, please, oh please, do not go to play for the great Satan at Alabama.