Friday, December 5, 2008

Dear Sir, Eat A Bag of Dicks: Virginia Tech

So are "We are all Hokies" still? Is this "awww feel bad for that all those kids" story over yet? Now almost two years away from the massacre at VT, and are we still supposed to feel bad for the school? Yeah it sucked, I feel bad for the friends and families, but is the pity party still on for VT? Let me make it clear to all of you, I was not a Hokie, I am not a Hokie, and I will NEVER FUCKING BE A HOKIE. I think the moratorium is over, and its back to open hunting season on the Hokies. Last year it was so over the top, every where I turned a fucking professional sporting team was "honoring" VT. WHAT THE HELL DO THE YANKEES HAVE TO DO WITH THE HOKIES??? Do you think that Derek Jeter stopped ramming Jessia Biel every which way to Sunday to feel bad for the students? I don't care if its safe or "PC" to say it, but I hated VT last year, and watching a Hokie football game I think I saw more footage of students in the stands hugging each other and crying then actual football. If I wanted a sob story I would turn on Lifetime and douche my vagina. Editors note: I had a picture of the killer superimposed with a BC Superfan shirt on, but even I thought that was a little much

And you must be so proud of your prestigious alumni that have graduated from your "fine" institution. My question is how the hell did Michael and Marcus pass any of your classes? They are both obviously too stupid to survive in society, but a school of science and technology? I have a hard time imagining that these two dimwits could pass classes in "Scientific Reasoning and Discovery", "Quantitative and Symbolic Reasoning" and "Critical Issues in a Global Context". What "critical issues" could Ookie talk about? How to make a financially sound dog fighting operation without the feds finding out? Did the school force Seung-Hui Cho to do the Vick brother's papers? I think that would have driven even me insane. "Hey Cho, wut da fuck is an electron, is dat when dey vote in dey Prezident?" It must really burn you that Matt Ryan has taken the franchise your most famous alumni fucked up, and turned it into a legitimate superbowl contender in less then a season. And every time Marcus shows up in a police blotter for armed robbery, I hope you all shiver when you read "Former Virginia Tech Quarterback". Seriously when your schools biggest embarrassments read
1. Seung Hui Cho
2. Michael Vick
3. Marcus Vick
Its about time to transfer somewhere else. You know who BC football's biggest disgrace is? Bill Romanowski, and he is hated because he is fucking insane, and for no other reason. At least he put together some semblance of a career, and isn't playing Drop the Soap in prison.

In conclusion, there is a large hairy bag of dicks ready for consumption Virginia Tech. On Saturday after you inevitably blow it against BC in the ACC Championship I want you all to go back to your campus and realize what a fucking failure your school is. You lost to us already when Chris Crane was busy trying to hand the game to you, how the hell are you going to beat us if we manage the ball. Answer: You're not, so put back on your black VT shirts on and begin wheeping again. Who is going to be your starting QB, Tyrod Taylor? Its sweet that VT would allow the actor from "Back Door Cum Dumpsters 15" on the field, but do you really want him starting in the league championship. And please, please, bring in Sean Glennon, Mark Herzlich would like to make him squeal like a pig.If your team coached by the highly exalted Frank Beamer can not beat a BC team that has a giant void at QB and even less talent on the offensive side of the ball then last year, you deserve to play in the Music City Bowl. I hope you all don't have plans on December 27th.


futuremrsrickankiel said...

I'm totally with you on that Yankees bullshit.

Also, via IM this morning:

SmartyBarrett: i walk into [HzMLS]'s room last night and he has paint open trying to superimpose a superfan shirt on the VT shooter

I just about died laughing.

Pepster said...

My favorite VT story is still a quote from my boy Sinickal on NFL draft day, immediately after the Falcons (with Michael Vick) selected DeAngelo Hall in the first round. He calls me and says quite succintly, "They couldn't beat Florida State then, they can't beat Florida State now."

Shaun said...

To the post, notably the part about VT not being able to beat BC with or without Crane: Amen.

Also, HMLS, i'll be smoking you this week in the DM league. I am gunning for third place.

GHABB,Y~! said...

Needs more Asian shooting videos.

nfsffw said...

I'll be wearing my 20 year old BC sweatshirt tomorrow, just need to remember to change before USC or Bama plays. Don't want anyone mistaking it for Roll Tide Red or Trojan Maroon.

nfsffw said...

Oh my aching ass, please, PLEASE, JUST MAKE IT STOP!!!

Not a good way to start the weekend.