Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Breakfast With the Hysterics

*The Bruins beat the Devils last night 2-0. The B's are now seven points clear of their nearest contender in the East, and 12 points ahead of the Habs in the Northeast Division. Tim Thomas earned the shutout with 25 saves, and Milan Lucic broke a scoreless tie in the third with a goal. Sadly, Phil Kessel did not Hyuk himself a point last night after scoring in 18 straight games.

(Raquel, please note that the above paragraph did not disparage hockey, the Bruins, Gary Bettman, Versus, the B's broadcast team, the word "puck" or even mention Andy Moog in any way. You're welcome, and now I don't have to get you anything for Christmas.)

*The Celtics won their team-record 19th consecutive game and set the record for Best Start evAr by beating the Sixers last night 110-91. The C's will now head into Thursday's Christmas Battel against the Lakers at 27-2, and without a rapist or a bearded Spaniard on their team. The Ghost of Christmas Future sees a Phil Jackson soul patch filled with tears, and a Tobey Maguire courtside seat without an owner. Yes, the Celtics will win by so much that it will, in fact, kill Spider-Man.

*Apparently, the Yankees have signed Kevin Cash. To paraphrase a famous saying, first they came for CC Sabathia, and I said nothing. Then they came for AJ Burnett, and I said nothing. Then they came for Big Tex, and I said nothing. Then they came for Kevin Cash, and there was no one left to say anything. THE YANKEES ARE PERPETRATING A BASEBALL HOLOCAUST.

*As the guy whose senior thesis was greatly aided by the interwebz efforts of a sports blog (in my case, Will's benevolent decision to link to my thesis survey, which got 5,000 responses in a half hour and helped me write a 173-page undergraduate thesis on professional wrestling, which, of course, got an A), I would like to link a similar thesis survey of a friend of mine. This being the holidays, be a mensch, take this survey and help my friend out. It'll help her graduate, and it'll help you not earn my vengeful wrath. In other linkity goodness, here's my column this week. Sadly, they don't let me say "fuck" and make me write about their made-up fantasy game, but hey, it's something else for you to read while you're counting down the hours until your boss stops being an asshole and sends everyone home early.

My Christmas present to the Mass Hysteria community (and my fellow editors) will be going up this afternoon, so stick around and have a great Christmas Eve Day.


Raquel said...

I thank you from the bottom of my congested and drugged-up heart, dear.

shaun said...

You hit that Stuckey pick right on the head. 40 points, shit.

Survey taken, as well.

Raquel said...

Also, you're allowed to disparage both Versus and Bettman.

Pepster said...

The fuck is Versus?

shaun said...

That channel that used to be OLN, they show hockey nowadays.