Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Breakfast with the Hysterics


Another one of those quiet night in Boston sports. Bruins and Celtics were off, there was no college sports going on, and for the most part the Hot Stove was still on simmer.Though it looks like the Yankees have landed their 275 pound left handed present. Sometimes here at Mass Hysteria we have writers block trying to figure out what we are going to write for Breakfast posts. We aim to keep them fresh, but without stealing the thunder from future posts, its quite a delicate balance to hold onto. This morning I was trying to think of something witty and original to write about, but was completely drawing a blank. I said to myself "Shit, our three readers are going to be so bummed when there is nothing new posted on the site". Well that was until I opened up Boston.com and read one of the cover stories. 20% of Teens have taken and sent naked pictures of themselves. Now I am not going to go the perverted route and talk about how hot that is that all these adolescent girls are taking shots of their hoo hoos and hahas, because that would put me on the level of Mark Chmura and frankly I couldn't handle that.

What I want to do is complain that I missed this age of technology when I was in high school. There were no cell phones, the internet was relatively new, and Myspace and Facebook hadn't been created yet. You couldn't just sign online, and go to someones picture, and think to yourself HOLY FUCKING SHIT I WOULD TOTALLY NAIL THAT. I am jealous that I missed this age of mass communication, the only way you were going to see a boob shot of the captain of the cheerleading squad was good ole Kodak film, and that was a very risky maneuver. During the time of adolescence I was always curious and wondered things like "Hey I wonder what that chick looks like naked" or "Man I wish I could see those cans". But did we have phones that could instantly take and distribute these pics? NOooooo.

Now a second point on this topic. Even if there were cell phones, I would have been the last person to see the Valedictorian with no pants on. See in High School I was never considered "popular" or even "likeable", and most girls threatened me with "restraining orders". It took me until my senior year of high school to actually talk to girls, and even that was a hair raising experience, ever wonder how much someone can stutter in one sentence? So all these naked pictures floating around, I guarantee would have gotten nowhere near me. But I can guarantee I would have tried my balls off to see some of them.

Question for the Masses: Have you ever, and would you ever have nude shots taken of yourself?

10 comments:

Pepster said...

Just nude shots of myself - no.

Nude "moving pictures" with another involved - possibly.

Raquel said...

I have been drawn, but never photographed. I have like a "career path" and stuff that I don't need blindsided by shit like that.

Unless, of course, I thought it would help boost traffic to our website...

The A-Train said...

Hey, I had that phone in college! Man it was durable as fuck. Survived being owned by my drunk ass for far long than I would have guessed possible.

@ FMRA: What the fuck? You're ruining my experience! The old photo had some mystery and intrigue (what does she look like!?). But this whole...new photo thing. And then then name!? It's like you're a real person! How are we supposed to objectify you now!?

nfsffw said...

No nudes here, something everyone should be grateful for.
As for CC, although I think the pinstripes might have a slimming effect on his 290 pound ass, I don't want to see any nude shots of him either.
I predict he's going to be pretty average, somewhere aound 15-12. Lots of innings on that arm the past couple seasons.
Load up the Sox with Burnett, Texeira and SaltyLaMackMan and I'll be way happy. Hell, I'd be ecstatic with two of them as long as the yanx don't get the third. Throw in D Lowe if he's cheap enough and let's rock!

Rocco said...

See in High School I was never considered "popular" or even "likeable", and most girls threatened me with "restraining orders". It took me until my senior year of high school to actually talk to girls, and even that was a hair raising experience, ever wonder how much someone can stutter in one sentence?

And yet here you are blogging? Never would have guessed.

Pics, movies, naked at parties. No shame here.

Rocco said...

/Just busting balls HMLS.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

Phonut!

Worthington P. Foxtrotty said...

There are, I am afraid, several tintypes of your humble reporter in naught but a bathing costume. In my folly of youth, I was approached by a Messr. DaGuerre, a despicable and perfidious Frenchman, and offered the fantastic sum of $1.25 to pose for his damnable photo-graphic machine. Seeking funds with which to pitch woo to a ravishing young lady at the time, I, like Judas, happily accepted my thirty pieces of silver, thereby condemning my virtue to the cross. O, but to have that decision back!

Rocco said...

WPF sucks balls.

stanley cup of chowder said...

WP Foxtrotty is a wordsmith.