Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Why yes the BC Eagles won last week, thanks for asking...

Each week HZMLS goes out on a limb and pretends that the readers of Mass Hysteria actually care about Boston College Football. Yet deep in his subconscious he understands that they are about as relevant as the New England Revolution or the Harvard Sailing Team. But he continues to trek onward, and in the spirit of fun he presents to you the recap of this weeks game

As you may or may not have seen BC is #20 in the National Polls this week, thanks to a come behind win against the Demon Deacons of Wake Forest. It's hard to imagine but Saturday's game was a combination of the teams best and worst game of the year. BC had control of this game and was up as many as 10 at one point, but a combination of sloppy turnovers and injuries allowed WF to get right back into the game and take the lead. It took a last minute balls to the wall drive by of all people Dominique Davis (who looks like he weighs 150 pounds soaking wet) to win the game and set up a must win game Saturday against Maryland.

The Good: There was excellent defense as Mark Herzlich continues to cement himself as one of the Nation's premier LB's and eye paint that is makes him look like Animal from the Legion of Doom. He has two interceptions (one for a TD), and made one of the illest catches I have seen when he vaulted like 8 feet in the air to catch the ball. The defense was as dominant as it gets, only allowing one offensive touchdown (which was caused by a blocked punt that was downed at the 1). I have no idea why the telecasters were blowing their collective load all over Riley Skinner because he wasn't all that impressive, he threw 3 picks, and with all the shit that Dominique Davis got, Skinner looked equally lost at times (and he's a senior!) Because I know none of you care the slightest about BC and think the ACC is a fraud conference (I'm look at you FutureMrs and GHABBY), here are some stats to chew on:
* Points allowed: 17.3 ppg (14th in the Country)
* YPG Allowed: 269 Yards (5th in the country)
* Passing Yards Allowed: 1912 Yards (12th in Country)
* Rushing Yards Allowed: 1054 Yards (7th in country)
* INT's: 23 (1st in the COUNTRY)

The Bad: Also if you watched the game you would have seen Chris Crane break his collarbone, and effectively ruin the rest of his college career (and ensure a long tenure with the 49ers). I can't believe I am going to say this but: I'm going to miss Crane. Even with the fumbles, terrible passes, complete inability to scan the field, he was finally learning the BC offense. Crane this season did just enough to keep BC in every game (minus the debacle at UNC), and allow the defense to keep the score close. Going into the final game against Maryland, I have serious questions about Dominique Davis (cousin of Desmond Clark of the Bears), he can barely throw a spiral, he looks nervous as hell, and hesitates hesitates hesitates. But he can make big plays because he is a black QB, and if there is anything Vince Young, Michael Vick, and JaMarcus Russell have taught me, it's that black QB's are winners. With the biggest game of the year on Saturday, having him command the offense makes me a little queasy.

The UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE: Before the last drive, Dominique Davis had rushed for -20 yards, and passed for 23, and had fumbled the ball TWICE. Safe to say that he was much more of a hinderance than a help. On the final drive, some sort of miracle happened, he remembered how to play football. Suddenly Davis was hitting Brandon Robinson deep down the field, lasering in passes into coverage, and the icing on the cake was the dive in from the 1 yard line. The ending of the WF game was easily the most exciting since Matt Ryan hit Andre Calendar in the end zone in Blacksburg last year. (Oh god, getting boners at work is so embarrassing)

Outlook: Biggest game of the year this week against Maryland. As GHABBY put it "Watching BC's offense is like watching two retards try to fuck". I think that is the best way too put it, but if Davis can quickly learn the Shotgun draw to Montell Harris and the fake draw QB sneak, I think we could still win. Our defense can be so fucking good, that hell we can play with no offense, jesus at the end of the WF game I was hoping our defense would be on the field because it was our only chance of scoring. Being a season ticket holder, of course I will be at the Maryland game, and if they lose you can expect a very upset, depressed HZMLS.


Rocco said...

Come on. I find most anything funny. But leave the retards out of it.

Go BC. I've always liked them, even if they are some Jesuit school or whatnot.

Rocco said...

Or does this need the tag:

Geez, HMLS, that's just wrong

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Yeah, I am going to stick with my quote, but I'll remove the ret.....nevermind Ive gotta stop using that word.

GHABB,Y~! said...

His face paint is like HAWK from the Legion of Doom, not Animal. Animal had the fucking spider thing on his head and has a son who is Andy Katzenmoyer Jr. at Ohio State, whereas Hawk admitted to taking monkey steroids and died at 40 of a heart attack.

Shaun said...

Don't forget how that one guy on ESPN.com blew a 23 game streak in the race for the million because he picked Wake Forest.