Thursday, November 20, 2008

Happy Birthday King of Insulin

Yup

Oh boy! It's GHABBYs Birthday! At the ripe old age of 27, it is completely natural to lose all of your hair (well, all but the disgusting smelly pubic bush you have growing on your chin). Seriously, it's a beard that would make Traci Lords blush. You have already begun to age so gracefully that by the age of 30 you will be using a walker and looking for the best deals on Fixodent.

But this post isn't meant to rip on GHABBY... it's also to celebrate his birthday! As a gift to our favorite editor, we have set up a romantic night alone with Razor Ramon, along with a bottle of lube, and a double sided dildo. I figured this would satisfy his subconscious desire to be with a wrestler, especially a Hispanic one. Hey, buddy, here's hoping he gives you a private showing of the "Razor's Edge".

Anyways, pal, we hope your girlfriend makes you an extra special cake cupcake gingerbread carrot for your big day. At least you can have one of those not-at-all-semen-like milkshakes that keep you alive... mmmmm, you can taste the Sucromalt. Good thing that insulin pump is there to manage the diabetus for you, because I wouldn't trust you to change your own tire, never mind monitor your blood sugar. It's nice to know that our basketball/wrestling editor is being kept alive by a battery-run machine you can buy at Walmart.

So, Hysterics, raise your Vanilla Glucerna and join me in wishing King Insulin a Happy Birthday!

15 comments:

stanley cup of chowder said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GHABBY!

futuremrsrickankiel said...

It's his birthday?

Worthington P. Foxtrotty said...

Felicitations, chap!

But you are still a bovine lummox.

Pepster said...

Happy Birthday GHABBY - enjoy as much of it as you can!

GHABB,Y~! said...

26 dammit, not 27! And thanks, 'tis much appreciated.

Sh!tShow said...

Happy Birthday, sir. I will tip one back in your honor this fine 85 degree evening.

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

I hate you.

SmartyBarrett said...

Happy Birthday, King Saccharin.

GHABB,Y~! said...

Seriously dude, the wind chill here was ELEVEN last night. ELEVEN. I hate you and your stupid sunburned face.

Sh!tShow said...

But its SO HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWT HERE!

AND they dont offer the NFL Network on Time Warner! Yeah, I'd heard that before, but I thought it was an Urban Legend! I have to go to BARS TO WATCH GAMES!

Zach Martin said...

Happy bday

GHABB,Y~! said...

Also, it should be noted that Scott Hall could probably use the money at this point.

Rocco said...

Happy b-day d-bag. Candy bar?

Anonymous said...

I am so late.....but HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyways!
Getting old sucks, so enjoy every minute....
Boatdrinks

GranDude said...

Later yet, another Birthday well wishing.

Hey Sh!tShow, do you get over to Sonny McLean's??