Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Celtics This Week

1998 Teenage Livejournal Blog Mood for This Week Bubbly, like when he decided to hold my hand midway through High School Musical 3.

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The C's are bubbly and filled with the bliss of a five-game winning streak, three blowout wins in the last week, and a 13-2 record that leads the Eastern Conference. The C’s easily dispatched Detroit, Minnesota and Toronto this week, and with games coming up against Golden State, Philly and Charlotte, Your defending NBA Champion Boston Celtics could be 16-2 heading into next Monday’s tilt with the always-tough Magic. The Detroit win was especially uplifting, as the C’s solidified the Pistons as their veritable Bitches, even with new addition Allen Iverson. In fact, the legendary AI got owned by the maturing-faster-than-Soleil Moon Frye Rajon Rondo, who outscored the Answer 18-16 and forced AI and Facemask McRipmilton into seven combined turnovers. Good thing Detroit has its strong auto industry to fall back on…oh, wait, nevermind.

Jack Donaghy MVP of the Week – This week’s MVP may surprise you, given my previous abject hatred of this player’s game and all he stood for, but I’m swallowing my pride and naming Tony Allen as the C’s MVP of the week. TA, for the most part, has filled the James Posey Memorial Bench Jolt of Electricity role quite admirably, especially in the last three games, where he’s averaged 14 points and nearly five rebounds, all in limited minutes. TA’s Per-48 splits are equally impressive, as he’s putting up nearly 22 points per 48 minutes of play. Best yet, Ol Number 42 is shooting 51% from the field, as opposed to last year’s 43% and 1,540 instances of me shouting “Jesus Christ Tony, why the Fuck did you shoot that?” This year has brought less shouting, lower blood pressure, and stronger play from TA.

It hurts me too Paul. It hurts me too.

Pam Beesly LVP of the Week – First off, has anyone else noticed how horribly shitty The Office has been this season? Like, I know it started to go remotely downhill last season, but I literally haven’t laughed once at an episode this season, and I’m someone who can find comedy in almost anything. And, surprisingly enough, it’s been Pam, past supplier of Dwight pranks and random Michael-related witticisms that’s dragged the show down like Rob Reiner drags down any seafaring vessel. She’s been the ultimate wet-blanket girlfriend, turned the show into a fucking soap opera with the occasional bad joke, and simultaneously made the utterly-likable Jim character into a bona fide pussy. You may be hot, Jenna Fischer, but you’ve made this season of the Office horribly unenjoyable.

Anyways, this week’s LVP is Paul Pierce, which absolutely pains me to say, given my utter man-love of the Celtics Captain. But when a potential 25ppg scorer puts up 9, 12 and 11 points in three games, and the rest of the team plays ridiculously well in blowout wins, then you sort of earn the LVP award by default. I’m sorry Paul. I still love you.

Chinese Democracy Actually Being A Kind of Awesome Record Pleasant Surprise of the Week – This week’s non-Axl pleasant surprise has been Kendrick Perkins, who has been filling his role admirably this season and exerting general badassness on the court. Perk is expected to rebound and block shots, nothing more. Given those responsibilities, Perk has grabbed a career-high 7.2 boards per game and blocked 1.93 shots per game, the latter of which is second only to Dwight Howard in the Eastern Conference. Meanwhile, when he does get the occasional shot, Perk has been making his field goals at a sick 57 percent clip. Well done Perk. Well done.

Tim Hardaway Memorial Player that I Absolutely Loved This Week – While I completely understand that we had to give him up in order to get KG and win Banner 17, it doesn’t mean that I’m still a little hurt and saddened that I now don’t get the chance to see Al Jefferson turn into an absolute beast on a nightly basis. Big Al is goddamned awesome in the low post, and has evolved from Frightened High School Kid to Low Post God, even if it is for a lottery team. If he played for a team that even had a chance at the playoffs, Big Al would be an MVP candidate for the next ten years.

Oh, and while Tim Hardaway’s political views suck, the dude’s crossover was ridiculous, and Run TMC may have been my favorite team of the early ‘90s. It’s downright criminal that those Warriors teams weren’t more successful, especially after they drafted Webber. It's a damn shame I tell you, a damn shame.

Patrick Ewing Memorial Player that I Absolutely Hated This Week – I’m not a doctor, but even I know that, when you have an injury, or a number of injuries, playing basketball might not be the best idea. However, Jermaine O’Neal hasn’t learned this lesson, because he’s attempted to play the last few games with a sprained ankle, bum knee, and ovulating vulva. Besides, it’s not like O’Neal is averse to missing time due to injury – he’s missed a combined 137 games over the last four full seasons, more than four out of every ten games. This year, he’s hobbled through all 13 games for his new Raptor teammates, rewarding them with a stellar 42% shooting percentage (which is fantastic when you’re 6 foot 11) and 12.4 points per game, his lowest average since the 2000-2001 season. Luckily, he only makes $21, 372,000 per year. He's like a black John Koncack or Bryant Reeves at this point.


ballamiguel said...

I know many who would disagree with the hilarity level of The Office this season. I, myself, find it equally as humorous as past seasons. Michael reacting to Toby's return = PRICELESS.

Of course Jim is turning into a pussy because of Pam, I know many male almost-married pussies.

GHABB,Y~! said...

I will give you that Michael's reaction to Toby was great, but the general lack of Creed or Kevin awesomeness, the Pam/Jim teenage drama, pulling Holly off the show, Ryan being not on coke and therefore not funny, and even Dwight being significantly less brilliant has made this season generally shitty as compared to previous years.

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...


The show is pretty bad, it has a few moments here and there, but the point of the show was how absurd the characters and story was. They have completely lost that. Jim and Pam's storyline is so bad, and is such the antithesis of the original style of the Office that I have effectively stopped watching it. I think what made the Office great was how different it was from other shows, now it looks just like another Scrubs.

SmartyBarrett said...

First of all, there's no show anything like Scrubs on TV so comparing the Office to that is a little crazy.
Second, I'm hating the Jim & Pam stuff, but the other storylines going on aren't really that bad. The bit where Oscar & Andy drunk-dialed Angela was one of the funnier moments in the show's history.

Anonymous said...

The Office isn't nearly as bad as you make it to be, nor is Chinese Democracy (real or musical) as good.

Michael is back to funny funny, not "holy shit, he's the dumbest person ever, how the fuck does he manage to breathe?" stupid funny.

futuremrsrickankiel said...

The notion that Jenna Fischer is hot is the most offensive thing I've read on this site to date. My Tickle Me Elmo is hotter than Jenna Fischer. God.