Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Celtics This Week

1998 Teenage Livejournal Blog "Mood" for This Week: Concerned, like finding out my Algebra II mid-term takes place the day afterthe Dashboard Confessional show.

Smiling - Myspace Graphics

The C's finished the week 2-1, losing badly at home to Denver and squeaking out wins over inferior clubs Milwaukee and New York. The crippy Nugs smacked the C's around from beginning to end, shooting 49% from the field while having six players score in double figures. The same Bucks team that got smoked in Boston only a week earlier, took the C's to overtime on Saturday, during which time KG decided to bitch-slap Andrew Bogut (is it a hate crime if it's black-on-Aussie?), earning himself a one-game suspension. Then, last night, the Knicks, who lost 104-59 to the C's last year with relatively the same team, took the Celts down to the wire, forcing Brian Scalabrine of all fucking people to save the day. When Scal is the emergency safety valve, then one has a right to be concerned.

Dustin Pedroia MVP of the Week: While attention must be paid to Paul Pierce's 29.3 point-per-game average over the last five games, I'm giving this week's MVP award to Ray Allen, for putting up 26 and 27 on consecutive nights and for starting to FINALLY find his
three-point stroke. While last year Ray-Ray earned the moniker of "The Sneering Corpse of Ray Allen" for his ability to age in dog years down the stretch, this year Allen has been downright frisky. He's shooting over 50% from the field in road games so far this year, he's not looking fatigued on the second nights of back-to-back games, and his free throw shooting, especially late in games, has been stellar as usual.

Adrian Grenier LVP of the Week - Look, I love you Kevin Garnett. I really do. Without you, the Celtics would have had no chance of winning Banner 17 last year. Your defensive presence, intensity and all around manliness serve as the beating heart of the Celtic body. But I have to give criticism where criticism is due, and this week, KG, you were the Vinny Chase of the Celtics Entourage, doing more harm than good. The above-pictured inexplicable face-smack of Andrew Bogut was not only uncalled for, but the subsequent one-game suspension put your team in jeopardy against a surprisingly game Knicks squad that also happens to be in your division. Your 16.3 per game scoring average is your worst since your rookie year. You block only 1.3 shots per game, the worst average of your career. You have topped 20 points in a game only twice this year. Until you start playing like the KG of old, the Celtics have no chance of raising Banner 18 to the rafters. Instead of channeling your anger and intensity at the foreheads of disappointing Australian centers, maybe you can start turning your anger at getting shitloads of points and rebounds, like you used to.

Dishonorable Mention: Rajon Rondo scored a combined four points against Denver and Milwaukee this week. This left me nonplussed. While his assist numbers are up, Rondo needs to take it to the hole more often and with better success, if only to free up outside shots for Allen and Pierce.

"Sizable Birthday Check From my Parents" Pleasant Surprise of the Week - I have long mocked Brian Scalabrine as the least talented, most awkward and downright ugliest player on the Celtics roster, and for good reason. However, Scal actually showed some usefulness for the first time in his career this week, playing some solid late-game minutes against the Bucks on Saturday, and hitting the game-clinching three against the Knicks last night. While I never thought I'd be saying this EVER...good job Scal. Christ that feels weird to write.

Hakeem Olajuwon Memorial Opposing Player that I Absolutely Loved This Week - I love Brazil. Their women are some of the hottest in the world, their steakhouses are the sheer embodiment of all that is great about restaurants. They gave this world Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Even their flag is pretty fucking cool looking. And their athletes go by one name, which is unbelievably awesome. One of those one-named athletes is Nuggets center Nene, who seems to finally be healthy this year and playing up to his potential, scoring in double-figures in every game but one, grabbing rebounds with reckless abandon, and inexplicably snagging FIVE steals against the C's on Friday night. Nene is also shooting a ridiculous 64.1% from the field. Fantasy owners should take notice, as he's owned in only 3.1% of leagues, mostly because you're all racist against South Americans.

Bill Laimbeer Memorial Opposing Player That I Absolutely Hated This Week - My dislike of Tony Allen has been well documented. I hate the fact that he only looks to score and does nothing else on the offensive end, and how he often fails to meet the potential of his boundless athleticism when playing defense. I hate how, for every one good play he makes, he'll make three dumb ones. Well, if Tony Allen were to have an even more basketball-retarded cousin, it would be Denver guard J.R. Smith. Smith's only goal when he gets on the court is to shoot the ball as often as he humanly can, with no regard for his teammates, how many people are covering him, or where he happens to be on the court. He doesn't rebound, he doesn't pass, he doesn't set picks or run the team's offense, he just fucking shoots, over and over again. And while TA at least has shown the capability to play some defense, it seems that Smith is physically allergic to the mere concept of defense. In fact, J.R. Smith makes Tony Allen look like Chris Paul. He is awful, and if I were a Denver fan and had to watch him jack up shot after shot every night, I'd probably shoot my television. Or at least attempt to have him framed for raping an underage girl at a local spa or something.

1 comment:

Hazel Maes Landing Strip said...

Speaking of players who I forgot were still on the team....where the hell is Sam Cassell?

Not like we really miss him or anything...