Thursday, November 6, 2008

BC vs. Notre Dame? Whose Whites are Better?


Tomorrow I will be co-posting with MH friend Smurphette to bicker about the BC-ND game. I'm sure you are all super ecstatic to read what the two douchiest schools in America think about each other. But anyways I asked my fellow editors to pose the questions, and to make them funny. Here is a smattering of what they wrote back, no names were attached to protect their anonymity.

*"Is it true that neither of your programs will be relevant nationally until you stop recruiting asshole white date rapists, and start recruiting violent felons like the Florida teams do?"

*Which of your schools is whiter?

I heard BC girls are sluttier, but ND girls give better head. Discuss.

Why should I give a shit about either of your schools?

No, seriously: why should I give a shit?

*Who would win in a slapfight: Rick Mirer or Darren Flutie?

*Who would win in a gang fight: the Jesuits, or the Order of the Holy Cross?

*Better landmark: Touchdown Jesus, or That Frat Slut Passed Out In Cleveland Circle With Her Panties Around Her Ankles?

*Better life choice: parietals, or Allston herpes?

*Abortion: never, or only if the father went to Northeastern?

*Preferred means of transportation: creaky prop jet from O'Hare, or the B line?

*Marry because you get her pregnant due to lack of available birth control at student health center, or because he has a beach house on the vineyard?

*Best way to maintain abstinence promise: prayer, or anal?

* Classmates who join the priesthood: (a) none (b) what in the fuck is a priest????

*Black people on campus: (a) none, (b) WHERE???? /grabs baseball bat

*Unachievable goal: a BCS bowl, sobriety, or both?

If our readers want to contribute any further questions to the intra-race war, post 'em in the comments for tomorrow's Catholic Battle In Which We Will Both Feel Inexplicable Guilt For Later On.

4 comments:

The A-Train said...

two thumbs down for not using buddy christ

Dubs said...

Holy hell yes yes yes. I have waited all year for this game so i could possibly have something over you HMLS. I have struck out to this point, baseball-swing and a miss, basketball-caught looking, hockey-WTFC? Not I. I will pour down my Irish fury through random comments and hate email (maybe, i may be to lazy to do that). The hate will never end (unless ND loses and then i will quietly fade away like go-gurt).

Eat a Casey Clausen flavored dick!!

Anonymous said...

Clearly, Brady Quinn vs. Matt Ryan...who is gayer? Discuss personal knowledge with said QB.

Anonymous said...

Shoot, that was me...Boatdrinks