Thursday, November 6, 2008
at 10:00 AM Posted by BCHysteria
Tomorrow I will be co-posting with MH friend Smurphette to bicker about the BC-ND game. I'm sure you are all super ecstatic to read what the two douchiest schools in America think about each other. But anyways I asked my fellow editors to pose the questions, and to make them funny. Here is a smattering of what they wrote back, no names were attached to protect their anonymity.
*"Is it true that neither of your programs will be relevant nationally until you stop recruiting asshole white date rapists, and start recruiting violent felons like the Florida teams do?"
*Which of your schools is whiter?
I heard BC girls are sluttier, but ND girls give better head. Discuss.
Why should I give a shit about either of your schools?
No, seriously: why should I give a shit?
*Who would win in a slapfight: Rick Mirer or Darren Flutie?
*Who would win in a gang fight: the Jesuits, or the Order of the Holy Cross?
*Better landmark: Touchdown Jesus, or That Frat Slut Passed Out In Cleveland Circle With Her Panties Around Her Ankles?
*Better life choice: parietals, or Allston herpes?
*Abortion: never, or only if the father went to Northeastern?
*Preferred means of transportation: creaky prop jet from O'Hare, or the B line?
*Marry because you get her pregnant due to lack of available birth control at student health center, or because he has a beach house on the vineyard?
*Best way to maintain abstinence promise: prayer, or anal?
* Classmates who join the priesthood: (a) none (b) what in the fuck is a priest????
*Black people on campus: (a) none, (b) WHERE???? /grabs baseball bat
*Unachievable goal: a BCS bowl, sobriety, or both?
If our readers want to contribute any further questions to the intra-race war, post 'em in the comments for tomorrow's Catholic Battle In Which We Will Both Feel Inexplicable Guilt For Later On.