Monday, November 3, 2008

Breakfast With the Hysterics

*The Pats lost to the Colts last night, 18-15. They did everything they were supposed to - hold the ball for nearly 35 minutes, get passes to Welker and Moss, not let the Colts receivers get big plays - but this was a case of one team playing for their season against one that was shorthanded. HZMLS will certainly have more analysis of this game later in the day, but Pats fans should learn to face the reality that a team starting Matt Cassell at quarterback and BenJarvus Green-Ellis at running back won't win every game, even when they execute to the fullest of their capacities. Sorry to shit in your cereal like that.

*The C's lost to the Pacers on Saturday night, 95-79. If this result had happened last year, I probably would have been throwing things, but the combination of a better Pacers team/back-to-back C's games/my increased Xanax prescription left me pretty lucid after this result. Danny Granger, for those of you that haven't seen him play, is the real fucking deal, like a poor man's Scottie Pippen. The C's 34% shooting on the night didn't help matters either, nor did the fact that they've forgotten so far this season that "free throws" are, in fact, free from defenders or obstruction of any kind.

*Florida's own Sex Cannon rallied the Bears over the, um, winless Lions. As someone who was in Gainesville at the same time as Grossman, I'll just say nobody should be surprised if, about 12-14 years from now, we don't hear about a bunch of high school quarterbacks from Florida with questionable paternal lineage with a tendency to overthrow their receivers by roughly 40 yards on every pass. In even better news, it looks like Grossman will be starting for the next month, a month that I'd like to therefore christen as SexVember. And yes, I know that has absolutely nothing to do with Boston sports, but I just wanted to say "SexVember" before the KSK guys got to.


GranDude said...

snip ... "Pats fans should learn to face the reality that a team starting Matt Cassell at quarterback and BenJarvus Green-Ellis at running back won't win every game" ...snip

True dat, but for a lousy late hit penalty on Thomas,and JaGar, as Madden called him once, forgetting to wash the K-Y off his hands before streaking down the sideline, we do win this one.
2 plays, Game Colts.

I believe it was that ran a comparison of Brady's first few games to Cassel's a couple weeks back. It was fairly close, surprisingly, and I decided to update through 8 games.
WARNING, Geek Stats ahead:

Pats Record 2001 5-3
Pats record today 5-3

Brady First 8 games:
140-211 for 1426 Yds, 11 TD 5 INT, 6.35 Yds/Attempt, 62.82 Completion %, 87.9 QB Rating.

Cassel First 8 games:
156-233 for 1566 yards, 7TD 7 INT, 9.87 Yds/Attempt, 66.95 Completion %, 87.4 QB Rating.

Brady played in 15 regular season games, sacked 41 times, while Cassel is on pace to go down 54.5 times.
A big bright spot last night was zero sacks allowed, props to both Matt and the O-Line.

Enough numbers, my point is I won't lay this Pats team's mediocrity at the feet of Cassel.
I don't think this team will go far in the playoffs, but I figured we were fucked when Mo Lewis eviscerated Bledsoe too...

Looking forward to hosting the Bills and Jets in the next two weeks, hoping we play smashmouth snotnosed football and show the division we're still the Big Dogg on the block...

GranDude said...

Correction, Cassel's Yards/Attempt is 6.87, not 9.87.
Early here on the left coast...

futuremrsrickankiel said...

"Let's name him Ben Green!"

"No way, I want to name him Jarvus Ellis!"

"Fine, fine. We'll compromise..."

Welker said...

Is that a chicken carcass or a dead baby fetus?

Matt said...

Please explain why there's a dead Dalmatian on the hems of that cape ...

Anonymous said...

Love the costume. How many times did you need to explain it? You strongly resemble Henry the VIII. Good/bad?